Monday, August 3, 2009

Proverbs 3 and Fear

We've started going to a small group at our new church and we're really liking it. I'm feeling more challenged in my every day walk with God and starting to feel some convictions too which is GOOD! One of them is reading my Bible daily. I really do try but it is SO hard for me. There are some weeks where I'm on it and others where I haven't touched my Bible (hey...I'm being honest!). So I have a new goal this month. I'm reading a chapter in Proverbs every day this month-31 proverbs in 31 days. I'm hoping to share some thoughts from them each day on here for a little accountability.

Today is August 3rd so I read the Proverbs 3. You know when God keeps bringing something up over and over again and you're not sure why? He's doing that to me right now. He keeps bringing up fear. I really don't think I have a lot of fear in my life but apparently He's trying to reveal it to me. Here's some examples-

**Friday we went to the Phillips, Craig, and Dean concert and they talked about their new CD "Fearless." They talked about how as Christians we're not to FEAR the economy, the decisions of the president, or even everyday trials because God is in control. He has a plan and He is good. That really got my heart stirring...

**Some elders from the church gave their testimonies on Sunday. All of them were about being fearful-God took away something from each of them that they cared about (their businesses, family member, etc.) and they were scared. They had to get rid of that fear and learn to trust.

**Now I'm reading Proverbs and what's really jumping out at me is this-

24 You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. 25 You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, 26 for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap. Proverbs 3:24-26

I'm not sure EXACTLY what the Lord is showing me but I think it may be that I am fearful of never having a baby. I claim to trust God but my faith is weak. I get scared that it may not happen for me. I'm listening to what He's saying and I see that He's trying to remove the fear from my life. I know He's trying to mold me during this waiting period, which I LOVE, and this is one of the things he trying to squeeze out. Pray that I would get rid of the fear and replace it with FAITH!

*****On a side note-started the Clomid again and HOLY HOT FLASH! I've gone from freezing to BURNING STINKING HOT within seconds all day long. Is this what menopause is going to be like????*****


Lindsey Carver said...

Friend, this only made me miss you more. Can we hang out soon?

Channa said...

You are so sweet for sharing this!! I have been feeling the same way. Saturday night we realize that we are one of three couples that J.R.'s coach's with that do not have kids and most have atleast 3. Of course that made my heart heavy! You are so brave and God has wonderful plans for you!!!

On a side note, I think that is what the big M is like but without the freezeing moments.