Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Life Planners

All self diagnosed life planners say "aye."

Why do I do that? Why do I think it's okay to have my own agenda and my own plan? I'm stopping TODAY. My plan was to get married, love on each other for a year and then have a baby to share that love with. Did that happen? NO! My plan was to live in St. Louis forever and ever amen by my family. Did that happen? NO! So from here on out-I have no plans. Sure, I have dreams and ambitions but they will happen in God's amazingly perfect timing under His amazingly perfect plan. He knows what's best for me and even when it's not how I want it, it's the way it should be. I'm thankful for that but sometimes it's really hard to rest in it. It's hard to give up control. I kinda imagine my plans as sand. I grab the sand (my plans) with my clenched fist and hold on for dear life. The Lord tells me to let go and I loosen my grip but still keep a fist. Some of the sand falls out but I've still got a whole lot left in my hand. I really think I'm letting go but I really haven't-I just loosened my death grip on my life. He wants all MY plans. And think about it-how much more beautiful is a beach full of sand than just my tiny fist full? A WHOLE LOT IS RIGHT!

I wish I could tell you exactly what's going on in my life right now but to be completely honest, I'm not sure what it is yet. I'll fill you in when I find out. In the mean time, I'm praying that I would give God control and trust Him fully because His will is SO much better than anything I could plan on my own.

I'm glad I serve a God who cares about EVERY intricate detail of my life. That's pretty amazing.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! Psalms 139:17-18 (NLT)


Melissa said...

Hi Kristin thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving me your sweet comment. You are too kind! I love your idea and I am going to do just that. I received a prayer box a few weeks ago and I think I will use it for my thoughts and prayers about having a baby. Thanks you are in my thoughts and prayers as well. Take care!

misty w. said...

Ha, ha! All I can say is "AYE"! Totally identify. Chuck and I were working in the back yard yesterday with the radio on and a little devotion came on about WAITING on GOD. I got teary and we talked about what God wanted to teach us in our "waiting time" for a baby. I think He must be working with me double time on that one. Hang in there girlie!