Just Sad

Man, this hurts. I really wish I wasn't writing this but here it goes.

Chris and I just had miscarriage number 2 after 3 years of trying. I was 6 weeks.

We did another Clomid/IUI cycle in June and kept it a little more low key. I was devastated the last time it didn't work and didn't want to work myself up by talking about it with a lot of people. I started having some cramping about a week before I was due to take a pregnancy test and thought for sure I was not pregnant. About 2 days before I was due, I randomly took a test and that magic pink line showed up. I was shaking. I could not believe it. I called Chris IMMEDIATELY (he was coaching a baseball game, bad wife move) and he was thrilled. I tried not to get excited because of our previous miscarriage but it was almost impossible. We had blood work done and the doctor confirmed the pregnancy. My next blood draw was not great news. My numbers had gone up but not doubled so they wanted another test. I went back and my numbers started doubling so we scheduled my 7 week sonogram to see the heartbeat and waited. I had real pregnancy symptoms. Last time I miscarried too quickly to really experience pregnancy so I was thrilled to run to the bathroom and pee every 6 seconds. I loved having little moments of nausea because I knew it meant that baby was on the way. Then Tuesday came. I started having some spotting and my doctor's nurse assured me that everything was fine, first trimester bleeding is totally normal. I bed rested Tuesday-Friday. Friday turned to a little heavier bleeding and Saturday the pregnancy ended (in a Flooring America bathroom, no less while buyers were looking at our home. Talk about bad timing). I'm hoping to get into the doctor tomorrow to see if a D & C will be necessary.

I'm hanging in there but I'm so mad myself for getting excited so fast. I really thought this wasn't even a possibility with all the fertility drugs and testing I've been through. I'm really trusting that God had some sort of plan in this. Last time we miscarried, we prayed for God to close the door on IVF and he did. As devastating as the miscarriage was, it was an answer to prayer. This time I see no logical reason. I know God's ways are not our ways, but man, I wish I could know what the plan is so I could stop hurting.

Please be praying for me and Chris. I'm really not wanting to ever be pregnant again because of all this hurt and I'm ready to move on to adoption. Chris is not. He is still wanting and praying for a biological child. This is the first time in this process we have not been on the same page and I hate it. I really, really do not want to get pregnant because I'm deathly afraid of miscarriage and I know I will worry the entire time which is not healthy. Pray for guidance and peace as we work through this situation.

Blog Hop-The Proposal Story

Kelly's Korner is hosting a little blog hop and because I love it so much, I thought I would share my proposal story. :)

Chris and I had been dating for about 3 years and I knew that he was getting ready to propose soon. We had looked at rings together and discussed marriage so I knew it wasn't much longer. Chris had told me to take off for the weekend because his parents were going to be in town for a baseball scrimmage and he was a grad assistant coach. That was clue number 1. His parents had come in town a million times and he never asked me to take off work.

So what do I do, being the blunt, honest person that I am?? Call him out on it!! I asked 2 nights before he proposed if he was going to do it! He, of course, denied it and said he couldn't afford to get me the ring I wanted and if I wanted to settle for less than he wanted to give me...blah, blah, blah! LIAR! HA!

So fast forward to Saturday afternoon. Missouri Baptist was playing a double header scrimmage. Lunch was going to be provided between games and Chris said he needed me to be there for it. After the first game, Chris came up to meet me (which is weird looking back at it, the rest of the team was on the field). The head coach had the mic and said "before we bless the food I would like you all to direct your attention to the score board." Four of the players dropped a bed sheet over it that said "Kristin, will you marry me?"

I looked in front of me and Chris was on one knee with the ring box open. Chris's mom was right next to us snapping pictures the whole time. It was really awesome that his family was there for it and we got some really great pictures too.

I was so excited/nervous that I grabbed the ring out of the box! He told me HE'S suppose to put it on my finger...so I let him :)

I'm SO in love with my ring-I can't even begin to tell you. Chris worked so hard to get me that ring and I absolutely treasure it. My best friend from high school's family owned a jewelry store in St. Louis so we were very fortunate to be able to get each other what they wanted for a relatively great deal.

It was so fun to walk around the rest of the afternoon showing off my bling to a ton of people who saw our special moment take place. I was shaking for the rest of the day so showing it off was a little hard-I had to hold my hand with my other hand so people could look.

The proposal was followed by a 16 month engagement which I would not recommend. It's hard to believe we've been married over four years already!

Clocked Out

I'm soooooo incredibly jealous of Chris right now-his last day of school was Thursday and we still go until NEXT Thursday!!! Geez. Talk about unfair!

Speaking of school, I really am unsure how exactly I'm going to work 4 more days. I ADORE my kiddos and will miss them terribly but my mind is already set on next year. I'm thinking about moving my Kinder stuff back to school, decorating my new room, and coming up with super cute beginning of school ideas. Not to mention my 3rd graders are OUT OF THEIR MINDS CRAZY right now. Things just haven't been the same since the TAKS test. They are clocked out. Doesn't help much that their teacher is too :)

Chris has games today and I'm thinking with the 102 degree temperature, working at school sounds pretty good. That's just a little toasty to be sitting outside for a ball game. I'm going to pack every single thing up so I'm just moving and setting up after the kids leave Thursday. *FINGERS CROSSED*

On a completely random note, I've been obsessed with the Sirius Radio stations on our Dish TV. I listen to 90's on 9 just about every day. Right now Livin La Vida Loca is on...do you even know how much I loved that song? So funny! It's actually an incredibly stupid song but I'm loving the memories!

Coupon Crazy

Can I just tell y'all that I am SO excited?!?! I'll start at the very beginning-

My mom has a client and good friend who is a dedicated coupon shopper. She is always getting good deals. SOMEHOW, she got like a YEAR worth of free Folgers coffee and brings it to my mom weekly because she doesn't drink it. Um...hello!!! I want free coffee! So I decided that with summer quickly approaching and having MUCH more time on my hands, I would give this coupon thing a try. Why not right? So Saturday I sat on the couch, clipping and web surfing, for about an hour or two. I cut nearly every coupon that was in the Sunday paper from last week and searching for manufacturer coupons on products we needed. I don't have a good system in place yet so I just threw all the coupons I knew I was going to use this week in a little plastic baggie and skipped (literally because I was SO excited to save money!) to Kroger. The only things I did not have coupons for that I bought were ingredients for a dessert I made for a party last night, bread, meat, and veggies. Everything else I bought because I had a coupon. I will say it took a little extra time looking for EXACTLY the right brand, product, etc. but it was ultimately worth it. When I finally got up to the register, the lady rang me up and scanned my 50 gazillion coupons, I was practically jumping up and down. I watched my total go from $203.11 to $156.89!! I saved $46.22. Here's how the break down went-$24.89 on manufacturer's coupons, $4.10 on bonus coupon savings (Kroger matches coupons under $.50), and $17.23 from my Kroger card which equals $46.22. It was TOTALLY worth looking like a 90 year old lady rummaging through coupons down every aisle :)

Just to warn you, when you use 25 coupons in one trip, your receipt will look a little like this

I also just want to state that I searched my entire keyboard for a "cents" key (when I wrote $.50) and just realized that it doesn't exist. Is it that way on all computers? What's up with that? I am using our little laptop so maybe it's on bigger, better computers? Just thought that was pretty weird....

Back At It

I've been a VERY bad blogger. Life has gotten crazy and my poor blog has taken the back burner. I'll try to fill you in quickly-

Chris took a summer league team. He's coaching the 12U boys of the North Texas Titans. He was home for about a week without coaching and started getting bored so this will be perfect. Practices twice a week and tournaments on the weekends makes for a nice little summer job. He just can't stay away from baseball!

I am moving BACK to Kindergarten next year. I loved 3rd grade but my heart is with the babies. There's a lot of switching around happening next year so it will be different, and in my opinion, exciting. In the words of Sheryl Crow "I think a change, will do you good." Clever, right??

We have not been back to the fertility specialist but plan to in June. My heart was really broken the last time when the IUI didn't work so I really needed a break. I think I'm ready now. Summer is the best time to do it anyway for 2 reasons-1. my due date would fall PERFECT for a teacher and 2. there's no stress about taking off work, sub planning, etc. I just schedule an appointment and show up! Not to mention my hormones go INSANE so being in the privacy of my own home and not at work is a great thing.

We've been going crazy working on the house and Chris is obsessed with looking at new houses. We bought new couches, had Chris' grandma recover the pillows, a new desk, painted the office, and I got a nice little surprise from Chris on Mother's Day (I know I'm not a mom but I work so hard at TRYING to become one-plus I love Dallas like a baby so I think I deserved it)....A NEW SEWING MACHINE!!!! I can't WAIT to spruce up my curtains and make new ones for the office. I've made 2 pillows for my classroom as a quick-let me get the hang of this-project and I'm absolutely obsessed with my sewing machine. Man, these things have come a long way from 8th grade Home Ec! They're like little computers! I'll get started on a new project here quickly so I can share with the blog world.

I think that's all I've got. I'll try to update y'all again soon-with school coming to an end, hopefully I'll be back to my normal (eh, mediocre) blogger self. :)

This and That

For those of you who did not know, this month's IUI was not successful. I was fine the first few days but it hit me Thursday. I'm unable to do another IUI this month because of TAKS test timing (ridiculous, I know!) and I'm actually very glad. I need a little break. So this month will I'll be focused on having fun and not worrying about a baby.

On a positive note, we bought new couches! When I came home crying my eyes out Thursday because of our failed IUI, Chris suggested we go buy. We've been looking for a little while and knew what we wanted so we went for it. Our previous couches were cream colored microfiber and showed dirt way too easily. We decided it would be best to get something dark for we went for chocolate chenille with lots of pillows. I would post a pic but my camera is at school so it won't be today. Plus I hate the throw pillows. I'm getting them recovered as soon as I find fabric. My friend Courtney and I are looking at fabric Thursday so hopefully I'll find something then.

Tonight I went to yoga and it felt SOOO good. I've been slacking in the gym motivation department (mostly due to all the baby stress) so it was nice to hit it again. It makes me so much more aware of what I'm putting in my body too. I came home and cooked some chicken and green beans...by the way....how good are green beans??? I never cook them because Chris doesn't like them but they are YUMM-O!

1st IUI

You want to see reason #556 that infertility sucks???

(Sorry this is so fuzzy...I took it with my iPhone)

Chris looks a little too excited about stabbing me with that thing...ha! He gave my the HCG trigger shot at 9pm Sunday night and I went in today at 10:45 for the IUI. I have to say it was really interesting. Chris's count was OUTSTANDING so hopefully they find their way to my eggs. Now I'm in the awful 2 week wait before we know anything. PLEASE be praying that this is the one and only time we have to do this!

I also need to say congrats to my husband and the FR Wildcats on their undefeated season in district so far. Last night was a SERIOUS whooping. BAD. Like you pray that it ends soon because you're beyond humiliated for the other team. The Wildcats beat Wichita Falls 23-0. One of the middle school coaches Chris works with sent a text today saying "congrats on your football score last night!" SO TRUE. The Wildcats play Ryan Friday so my fingers are crossed for no rain!