The Crowder Family

LONG overdue post

2011-06-17T08:57:00.001-07:00

Hi, my name is Kristin and I am the world's WORST blogger.

I feel better.

I have a lot of excuses-moved to a new house, fixing it up, the end of school, moving classrooms, getting together a nursery, etc. but I won't bore you with all the details.

Baby Crowder's due date is QUICKLY approaching. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that he will be here in 6 weeks or less (or more but I'm not letting myself think about being OVERDUE). I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and everything is cruising right along. Colby has moved into the head down position (praise the LORD!) and is in the 55th percentile. I know these are often off but he was measured weighing about 5 lbs 3 oz. That means if he gains 1/2 lb a month and I go to 40 weeks, he will weigh 8 lbs 11 oz!!! Yikes!

I'm SO thankful it is summer now and I am able to sleep when I want, eat when I want, etc and not feel too guilty about it. I often forget just how pregnant I am and end up tiring out quicker than expected. We're trying to get as much of this house stuff finished before sweet Colby arrives but I'm pretty much useless. I am pretty fabulous at the post cleanup!

Gender Reveal-It's A.....

2011-03-08T17:26:00.000-08:00

BOY!

We actually found out last week but I wanted to have pictures and the whole nine yards. I have not had 10 seconds to blog let alone scan in the ultra sound pics so I hope you don't mind settling for the story.

My OB decided that due to my past miscarriages, difficulty getting pregnant, and my family history of autoimmune diseases that sending me to a specialist would be appropriate. Of course I freaked out slightly and thought that was an indicator of a possible problem. I was excited to find out the gender but I was mostly just anxious to see a perfect baby on that screen.

Wednesday, Chris and I met at Lewisville Hospital to have our anatomy scan done. The first thing I told the doctor was "we want to know the gender". I was so afraid she would do the whole thing and not tell us. She started at the head and did all the scan from head to "goods" and posted a pic on the screen. She asked if we wanted to guess what the baby was. It was CLEARLY obvious to me. I said "that's a boy, right?" and she typed on the screen "IT'S A BOY". Chris of course beamed ear to ear and I started crying. Something about knowing exactly what you are growing inside you makes it SO much more real. I cried off and on for the rest of the day. I was beyond excited to know that I would have a son. I still love thinking about it.

Everything on the scan looked great. In fact, the baby is measuring a little larger than expected. He is in the 80th percentile for size. We'll see if that changes as he grows. Chris and I are elated because we are small people (I'm 5 ft 4 in and I won't tell you how tall Chris is...he'll lie about it anyway...HA!). I do need to go back in three weeks because he was not cooperating while showing his heart. There are clearly 4 chambers and the aorta looks great but she needs to look more in depth before saying everything is wonderful. I'm excited to get to see him again so soon. Pray that everything looks great with his little heart!

We are so excited to welcome Colby Samuel Crowder to the world in July. Pray for his growth and development to continue to be perfect!

Waiting on God

2011-02-21T11:43:00.000-08:00

A sweet mom of one of the kiddos in my class gave me the sweetest gift the other day. She gave me her book "Prayers for Expectant Mothers", a letter, and an excerpt from the book A Mother's Heart. I wanted to share the part of the book she have me because I really think it's true and gives such hope to women waiting to be blessed with a baby.

Waiting On God-For Children

Before I was pregnant with Matthew, I studied the lives of biblical women who had waited for a child. These women were Sarah, the mother of Isaac; Hannah, the mother of Samuel; Rebekah, the mother of Jacob; Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist; and Samson's mother. From my study I gained a conviction that every child comes from God and ought to live for God's purposes.

Each of these women was initially barren. they waited and waited to conceive a child. Since failure to bear a child in their culture was often considered a curse, they experienced torment and ridicule. All of them endured a painful wait. Two of them-Sarah and Elizabeth-reached old age before conceiving.

Was it really necessary for these women to experience the agony of a long wait? Yes, there was a purpose.

God had something special in mind. He wanted to give each of these mothers a special child-a child with a specific purpose-and He wanted to receive the glory. Everyone must know that God did it. The awe of wonder of conception is often lost on us, since almost anyone can conceive-rich or poor, educated or uneducated, godly or ungodly. We can easily forget the part God plays in every birth.

Unless a sense of wonder accompanies parenthood, w may either take our responsibility too lightly or else cling too tightly to our children. God knows that withholding children often produces a different mentality in a waiting mother or father-to-be.

I wonder if Abraham could have laid his son Isaac on the altar if the long wait had not prepared his hear (see Genesis 22). Would Hannah have given her beloved you Samuel to God's service if he had come much earlier? Did the wait produce a conviction that Samuel came from God and should live for God's purposes, a conviction she otherwise might not have experienced? Perhaps another reason God allowed these mothers to endure a long wait was to lay a groundwork of prayer. they knew that these children were children of purpose and promise, and undoubtedly each of them was much prayed for.

I too wanted the convictions of a mother who had waited on God, even though my wait was comparatively short. I prayed, "God, please give me the sense that these women had that this child will be from You and for You."

I really hope this encourages anyone in the waiting to continue praying for your child and know that the God of miracles has an amazing plan for you. When your gift comes, remember to give Him the glory because He is so, so worthy.

Snowy Anniversary

2011-02-05T07:36:00.001-08:00

You want to know the thing I love most about Texas? The WEATHER! You just never know what's going to happen around here. I also love that every time something does happen with the weather, Texans act like it's never happened before. For example-the school districts do not schedule in snow days like the northern states do. In Missouri, we had 3 days of snow that did not need to be made up, then we tacked the rest of the snow days on to the end of the year. Here we have two "scheduled" snow days. We make up one at the end of our spring break and one at the end of the year. The rest are waived. EVERY year, teachers gripe about the possibility of a snow day. I have taught in Texas for 5 years now and have had a snow day EVERY YEAR. I say bring on the snow days!

The weather started out Tuesday with some ice. The roads were pretty terrible and the whole city of DFW shut down. We still have not reached above freezing so the roads are pretty nasty. To add a little insult to injury, we got about 4-5 inches of snow Thursday night. Driving is not fun. Neither is being locked in your house like a prisoner to the weather for 4 days. Chris does not sit well. He went to the grocery store AT LEAST once a day (Kroger is practically in our neighborhood...you don't even go to a main road). On Thursday, I had the itch to get out too. We went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch and I decided that getting out was not all that great. The roads were awful and parking lots were RIDICULOUS. Texans do not know much about salt or shovels :-)

Friday was our 5 year wedding anniversary. How in the world have we been married FIVE years? We enjoyed most of the day indoors with a fire in the fireplace and watched our wedding video (a little tradition I stole from the Curry's). I LOVE our wedding. I could watch it a hundred times but Chris was not quite as thrilled so we just watched it once. The plan was to go out to dinner to celebrate but I was a little concerned about driving on the roads. Chris had already been to the gym and said the roads were okay and that we needed to get out. So we drove to Patrizio's in Highland Village. I was a little afraid for my life. The roads were not okay. We glided in, ate dinner, talked about our plans for the future, and went home. A pretty great anniversary snowed in most the day with my husband.

Yes, I am 15 weeks today. I do plan on having Chris take a pic of my belly but it will have to be tonight. I'm not showered, he's not here, so it will be later.

I leave you with a little picture of us from our wedding day :-)

Chris LOVES Hide and Seek

2011-01-27T16:53:00.001-08:00

My day started off AWESOME. By awesome I of course mean totally stressful and the worst morning ever.

Last night Chris and I went to the grocery store. No big deal. Chris drove us home, we unloaded the groceries, and had a great end of the night. No big deal.

This morning, I got ready for work and just like every morning, I'm running like 10 minutes late. I grab my purse, coat, and run to the hook in the laundry room to grab my keys. Not there. I look in the kitchen. Not there either. Nor the kitchen, the bathroom, the couch cushions, the hamper, the trash, etc. You name it, I checked there. NO WHERE.

As I'm frantically running around the house searching, I'm calling Chris's cell phone 581 times. No answer. He's in basketball practice and has his ringer off. At this point, I'm in hormonal tears and can't figure out what to do. So I call his school. I get my crazy stalker wife on and tell the secretary the story and she pages him. Chris calls me and has no idea where they are. I'm so crazy at this point I pretty much just demand that he comes to pick me up so I can get to work. He's good with that. About 2 minutes later he calls back and tells me to look in the backseat of the car where the groceries were. Guess what? There were the dang keys. He texted me sorry 101 times and now things are all good. Did I mention this is the same guy who lost his cell phone and found it in a potato chip bag?? Good thing my husband is so stinkin likable because I thought I might kill him and I would not look pretty in an orange jumper. :)

Isn't that a fun game? If you want to borrow him for a day or so to see what other tricks are up his sleeve, I'll let you!

13 weeks

2011-01-26T16:59:00.000-08:00

I'm 13 weeks!

I haven't decided if I'm going to post one of these every week or not but I do want the memory of exactly what I was feeling throughout this pregnancy. This is 4 days late, I change weeks on Saturdays.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 13 weeks

Size of baby: the size of a peach (2.9 in and .81 oz)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: About a pound
Maternity Clothes: not so much. I can't button any of my pants so the Belly Band has been my BFF. That thing is amazing! I may need to use it after pregnancy to hide the good ole muffin top...HA!

Gender: Don't know yet but can't WAIT to find out. We will be so excited either way :)

Movement: Nope. Can't wait for that day!

Sleep: All the time. Still. I though energy was suppose to come back in the second trimester??

What I miss: Coffee. I've tried drinking organic decaf but coffee doesn't even taste good. I really, really want it to!

Cravings: Anything salty. Or sweet. I guess just food. Sometimes things will sound SO good and then I start eating them and hate it.

Symptoms: Tired, major growing belly. I think the nausea may be leaving but it still comes and goes. I was mostly getting sick at night.

Best Moment this week: Getting to meet Jason Garret and Terrence Newman at my brother in law's event for his foundation "Get in the Box". I'm so mad I didn't think to get autographs for the baby book!

Want to see a miracle?

2011-01-26T16:06:00.000-08:00

God is so unbelievably good. Want to see how good?

Can you even believe that? Here's the story.

Chris and I were 100% ready to adopt. After 3 years of trying and 2 miscarriages, I was done. I wanted much more to be a mother than to be pregnant. Chris completely agreed and we dove head first into the adoption plan as I'm sure has been very evident through this blog. We began fundraising, went to the first meeting with the adoption agency, were tracking families, etc. I truly believe that the Lord wanted us to start the process and through it He has brought some amazing stories and great friendships. Pregnancy was COMPLETELY off the radar. I didn't care about being pregnant, just wanted to be a mom.

And then it happened.

Chris and I were in St. Louis visiting my family for Thanksgiving. I was a few days late but didn't think much of it because being a few days late is not completely abnormal for me, especially after my miscarriage in July. Chris really wanted me to test and I was incredibly frustrated with him. I was finally fine with not being pregnant and all he wanted was for me to test. I waited several days because I was crampy and then Chris finally talked me into it. He went into Walgreens, bought the test, and we headed home. I went in the bathroom with the test and really was pretty angry. I've taken a TON of pregnancy tests and even the ones that were positive never ended well. It seemed like this whole pregnancy thing was just not for us. I waited for the words to pop up on the screen and there it was-PREGNANT. I have never felt anxiety like I felt in that moment. I walked out of the bathroom, looked at Chris and said "You're not going to believe this". We both just started laughing! What in the world? I've tried FOREVER to get pregnant and now I pregnant in the middle of this adoption process! I called my doctor in Texas immediately and they called in a prescription for progesterone right away. I started taking it that day. I'm so thankful my doctor was so gracious to do that without ever seeing me or confirming the pregnancy. After 2 losses, my heart couldn't handle another one.

My doctor has done a TON of sonograms because of my history. Get ready for some pics!

Here's baby at 5w5d. I about went in to cardiac arrest because the gestational sac measured a week small. I off course thought that I had lost the pregnancy because of my history. Let's just say sonograms have not been friendly to me. After that ultrasound, I was totally discouraged. I mentally prepared myself to lose the pregnancy. I know that sounds terrible but I just knew that it was too good to be true. The doctor was not concerned with the measurement but put me on high risk because of my history and asked me to come back in two weeks.

We went back to the doctor and saw a sweet heartbeat and only measured 3 days small. The heartbeat was the most INCREDIBLE thing I have ever heard. The first fetal heartbeat measured at 130.

Here's baby at 8w2d and measuring 8w1d. The fetal heartbeat this time was 180! I drank a Sprite before and I think baby may have had a sugar rush. My doctor said everything looked great and she saw no reason to keep me high risk. WOOHOO!

The latest and greatest-sweet baby at 12w2d. The heartbeat was 158. I still cannot believe that I am carrying a baby. It has been such a journey to get here and I am reminded every time I look at my stomach how amazing God's faithfulness is.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T14:43:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving. Like love it so much it may be my favorite holiday. I love it not just because you get to stuff your belly full of ridiculously delicious foods that you hardly ever eat outside of the holiday (like cranberry sauce, my FAVORITE) but because it is so very important for me to reflect on what I have to be thankful for. Because I'm a teacher and get to teach Thanksgiving year after year, I am reminded how the pilgrims had NOTHING-in fact lost a ton of friends and family-and still believed it necessary to thank God for His many blessings. Amazing role models.

I am in a season of my life where I am so unbelievably thankful. I know I have said it over and over that God keeps providing in this situation (and you'll probably continue to hear it over and over so it you don't like it, you may want to stop reading!) but it is truly amazing. The love, support, and encouragement from every person who knows our situation is crazy. I was prepared for people to tell me terrible stories. I was prepared for people to ask us why we weren't going further with fertility treatments. I was prepared to have to explain all the details of how God had called us to end the roller coaster ride and called us to adopt. And I've never had to do any of those things. I've had lots of hugs. Lots of prayers. Lots of beautiful stories. Lots of LOVE. And for that, I am thankful.

My friend has decided to help Chris and I fund some of our adoption costs by doing a Scentsy fundraiser. Not sure if you know much about Scentsy, but they're pretty incredible. Buy the warmer and a couple of scents and your home will smell amazing. WAY safer than a candle, a great Christmas gift, and 30% of your sale goes toward Baby Crowder. If you are interested, click here. It will be shipped directly to your address so you can buy even if we have never met. The party ends December 6th to get everything in by Christmas so order away friends! I am SO thankful for your support.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Happy Thanksgiving!

He Is In Every. Single. Detail.

2010-11-13T14:44:00.000-08:00

I'm seriously so excited about my blog right now. God is BEYOND good. When I first started this blog, it was mostly to write down about us trying to start a family. I really wasn't sure what was going to happen in my life or if anyone would ever read it. Now I'm hearing from people experiencing infertility who are just happy to read about someone else dealing with what they're dealing with. I hear from people who want to help us with fundraising and finding babies. It's so awesome to hear from some who are experiencing some sort of emotion from reading and I pray that emotion is them feeling God's presence from our faith. That is my biggest prayer for this journey. That we would be such a testimony of God's unfailing love EVEN in our struggle. That people would see our faith and learn to trust Him with whatever their situation is. We've quickly learned that we can't do one. single. bit of this on our own.

This week has been CRAZY. My mom, sister, and tons of others have been posting my blog on Facebook. Right now we intend to pursue an agency but we know that there are often private adoption opportunities and we want to get the word out that we are looking for an adoption plan. My mom posted my blog and a client of hers read it. She is in a group through a hospital with a pregnant girl in it looking to make an adoption plan. My mom's client talked to her and she was willing to talk to us. I got her number Tuesday and was told to call her sometime after 6.

Are you ready to see God show up BIG TIME?

A pastor's wife and I led the preschool VBS worship this summer. Our church is pretty big so I really haven't seen her since then. I talked to her when I miscarried back in July and that was really the last we have spoken. Tuesday she calls me. She wanted to ask me about a Mary Kay event and that for some reason, the Lord had put me really heavy on her heart and she just wanted to see what was going on. I called her back after work and told her I knew exactly why I was on her heart-we were choosing to adopt. She started crying. Immediately she starts spouting off women at our church who have/are adopting that I could talk to. One woman really could use a friend that did not have children at this time (trust me, I know that feeling SO well) and another was adopting her baby next week. I ended the phone conversation amazed that God would put me on some one's heart who does not even know our situation.

It gets better.

Five minutes later, the girl who is adopting next week calls me. I have NEVER met her before or really know who she is. Here's her situation: adopting a baby privately through a family friend situation in another state. Here's our situation: have a private adoption opportunity through a family friend situation in another state. Hellllloooo! I couldn't make that up! God is SOOOOO good to provide EXACTLY what we needed the exact day that we needed it. I'm crying writing it. I don't know what will happen with this situation with us but I do know that I needed to hear from someone in this situation to know exactly what to discuss with the birth mom, what to look for, what to look out for, etc. The Lord put us on ONE woman's heart to connect us with ANOTHER woman who is experiencing the EXACT SAME SITUATION as us. It makes me so excited to know that He is present in EVERY step of this situation. I'm trusting that He is going to provide exactly what we need exactly when we need it. Seriously. So faithful.

Yesterday we went to our adoption workshop at the agency and learned so much. It was awesome to be in the same room with so many couples in the same situation as us. Almost everyone was dealing with some sort of previous infertility troubles, all of us were scared out of our little minds, and we all were excited to watch God's plan for us unfold. I love that this agency is so Christ focused and that all the counseling that Chris and I OR the birth family gets is Christ centered.

One last little thought: I am just so impressed with women who decide to make an adoption plan. Seriously...how SELFLESS? The Bible has so many examples of adoption (Jesus was "adopted" by Joseph, Moses, US as adoptive children of Christ) and I'm so impressed with anyone who can make that decision. In a world where abortion is SO easy (take a pill and you can have an abortion), birth parents are EXTREMELY brave. I just appreciate anyone who can make that tough decision to give a gift to someone. I can't wait to meet our birth family and Chris and I pray hard every day not just for our baby, but for our birth family. Our hearts will be forever grateful for their brave, selfless decision.

Provision Follows Obedience

2010-11-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

Do you know what I love? When you're in church and just know that God prepared the message just for you. I know that sounds a little self centered when you go to a church of 3,000+ people but I know that the Lord was speaking directly to me.

I won't go through every single detail of the sermon (you'll just have to come to Valley Creek Church if you want to hear it :)) but it was gooood. One of the things Pastor John said that spoke directly to me was "Provision follow obedience, miracles follow faith". EXACTLY what is happening in my life right now. The second Chris and I said "okay, God. We'll do this adoption thing you are calling us to do. We have not one single clue what we're doing so please, please guide us", He's done exactly that.

Friday I let my focus get off the miracle that He is doing in this and my mind started to fill with fear. What if the birth mom changes her mind? What if no one chooses us? What if it takes YEARS? How do we afford this PLUS all the things we'll need for a new baby? Is it tacky to do a fundraiser or ask people if they are interested in donating? Will the baby feel connected to us? And on and on and on. I seriously could make myself sick with worries. I know very few people who have adopted domestically and I'm unsure of exactly how this is all suppose to play out.

Today, our pastor talked about not needing to know what things are going to look like in the end. God is leading us one step at a time. It may not make sense at the time or we may not be able to see what the end looks like, just put one foot in front of the other with HIS directions. I'm praying that no matter how long or short this process may be, that we would be sensitive to His leading.

Saturday afternoon, Chris went out to get the mail. A letter came from a couple who go to our old church in St. Louis and who are good friends with my parents. They too went through a terrible battle with infertility and went on to have a sweet baby girl through the miracle of IVF. They know exactly what we are going through and have felt God's call to adopt. Inside the letter was a check to help us with the costs of the adoption process. Chris and I read the letter together and just cried. We stood in the middle of our kitchen with tears streaming down our face and thanked God for his goodness and provision in this situation. Provision follows obedience, miracles follow faith.

Continue to pray for us as we follow His steps. Pray for our future baby. If he/she is in utero right now, please pray for protection. Pray for his/her birth mom to know when they find us that we are the right fit for her child. Pray that God would continue to provide. So excited to see the "only God" story this is going to be!

Something Beautiful

2010-11-05T14:51:00.000-07:00

Every morning on the way to school, I talk to my mom on the phone. We usually just chat about what we are doing that day or what happened the day before and my morning commute is just not the same without talking to her. Monday through Wednesday this week, she took a little "mini vacation" to the Lake of the Ozarks with my dad for her birthday. Although it was weird not talking to her, I took advantage of spending a few minutes with God each of those days while I drove. On Wednesday, I turned on the Christian radio station and a song that I heard a million times came on that touched me in a completely different way now that my mindset on adoption has changed. Here are the lyrics:

Hey now, this is my desire

Consume me like a fire

Cause I just want

Something beautiful

To touch me,

I know that I'm in reach

Cause I am down on my knees

Waiting for

Something Beautiful

As I drove to work, tears filled my eyes. The Lord really used this song to work in me. During our entire infertility journey, I prayed consistently to get pregnant. I told God what I thought He needed to do for me. I wasn't asking Him to consume me-I was telling Him what to do. You would think it would take me less than three years to figure it out but I guess I have the tendency to be a little stubborn. :)

It's amazing what He can do to your heart when you become vulnerable and let Him.

I guess within the last few months I stopped praying to get pregnant. I stopped telling God what I wanted Him to do. I stopped praying and praying and praying and started listening. I allowed myself to open my heart to Him and not be bitter and angry. I knelt before Him and told Him I was ready for His will. No longer would I be like Jonah and run from His calling. When I started listening to His call instead of telling Him what His call needed to be, it was way more beautiful than what I was asking Him to do. He's using this area of heartbreak and turning it into something beautiful. He's taking an unfortunate situation from a birth mom and turning it into the most beautiful gift we could imagine. He's taking average people and using them to bless us in a way that is more beautiful than I can describe. I just want something beautiful.

Please continue to be in prayer for us as we prepare for our workshop next Friday. We are very excited but we don't want our emotions to get in the way of important information that we will be receiving. Pray we keep our joy throughout this process and hear from the Lord before each step we take.

Here's the song if you're interested:

Confirmation is a Beautiful Thing

2010-10-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

I know I already told you here that we have decided to pursue adoption. The adoption journey is a long one and I just want to keep up to date on what is happening with that decision.

Let me just say confirmation is a beautiful thing.

The past couple of weeks have been trying. My brain is in a constant battle with my heart on how this whole adoption process will play out. I am SUCH a planner and not knowing the who's or what's is so difficult for me. My brain keeps telling me to just continue trying to conceive. It's natural, FREE (Lord knows I would love for this process to be free right about now!), and is how most couples go about starting their families. It just makes sense. My heart is telling me to seek God. To lean not on my own understanding. To line my will up with His. And you know what? When things are going good, that's exactly what I do. But when everyone around me is holding their pregnant bellies or their newborn babies, my brain wins. I start to try again on my own. I begin to plan. And it NEVER works out.

Friday night I went to be with a sweet friend of mine who just had a sweet baby girl. I got to be there with her as she told her birth story and nursed and loved on that precious child. I was able to love on her too. It was awesome. Then I got in my car and the bitterness started sink in. I was so envious of her. I wanted to hold my baby and tell my story. It's a terrible, terrible feeling. Why could I not just be happy for my friend? How could I be so selfish and greedy?

Saturday came. Chris has a friend who lives just outside San Francisco who called to talk baseball smack (Rangers/San Fran in the World Series if you're not a baseball fan). They tried for about 1 1/2 years to get pregnant and had their baby boy in August. Again, filled with envy. Why did she only struggle a year and a half and I have over 3 years of heartbreak under my belt? How come everyone else's time comes before mine? I was SO ugly to be around.

I drove to church Saturday night to work with 2nd grade girls and just cried. I prayed the whole drive that God would take away my sinful attitude and the ugly bitterness in my heart. I prayed that He would make Himself known in this situation and that it would be a praise story that glorified His name. I prayed that He would show me in a very real way that we were in His will. I definitely could not see Him working but I knew that He was. I knew His plan was better than my own and I again was choosing to trust.

Saturday night Chris and I came home and Chris checked the mail. In the mailbox was a card from our old small group leader that we haven't seen in about 6 months with words of encouragement on our adoption and a check to help us get started. Talk about God showing up in a real way. I cried all Sunday morning thinking about how God is using others to bless us to be a blessing to a baby. I can't even wrap my head around the God story this is going to be.

Today at church we talked about how the church needs the city and how the city needs the church. They gave everyone a card to write a name on and to pray three scriptures over so that God would be preparing their heart for whatever it is He had for them. When we got in the car, Chris' eyes filled with tears as he told me he doesn't know the person's name he is praying for because it's the birth mom of our future child. Again, God doing exactly as I prayed, showing up in a real way.

I'm just so encouraged with what God is doing right now. Today we shared our testimony with our small group and met with a couple who adopted 22 years ago where, again, God showed up in a big way. After this weekend, I can just FEEL that He has something so beautiful in store for us. His way, not our own.

And I'm going to add this just in case...if anyone knows someone considering giving their baby up for adoption or is pregnant and considering an abortion, would you PLEASE let me know? Right now we are beginning to go through an agency but would gladly go through a private adoption if one became available. If you hear anything, please consider us.

Let's Go Rangers (clap, clap, clap clap clap)

2010-10-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

Last night, Chris and I were able to go to the Ranger's game and watched them beat out the Yankees for the ALCS championship. It was completely INSANE. I'm so excited for the Rangers to go to their first ever World Series. Texas is proud of their boys!

Here's some pictures from last night

It rained on us. Twice. Just thought I'd let you know why my makeup is washed away and I look like a drowned rat :)

Confetti EVERYWHERE

It doesn't get much better than that!

I never did get a good firework picture...I'm too slow!

Every time Alex Rodriguez came up to bat, the crowd chanted "He took steroids" (clap, clap, clap clap clap)

AWESOME NIGHT. Now I leave you with this-DO THE CLAW!

Time for a Break

2010-10-14T15:40:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know so you didn't think I fell of the face of the earth (although you probably frequently think that due to the fact that my blog is always neglected), I'm taking a little "break". My blog will not suffer tremendously because my postings are so hit or miss but if you're my friend on Facebook, I'm taking a break from there too. Just a lot going on in my little head and being in everyone's business doesn't exactly help it. Thought I would let you know. Be praying for me friends :)

Stalling

2010-10-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

Right now I am SUPPOSE to be working on my lesson plans but I'm doing everything I can to get out of it. I've put dinner in the crock pot, watched Julie and Julia, cleaned up, played on Facebook...pretty much everything you can think of BUT lesson plans. It's pretty weird because I'm a major dork and actually enjoy lesson planning but I'm just not in the mood-so I'll blog :)

Yesterday was a pretty exciting day at church. Our pastor made it public in July that he would be moving overseas with his wife and youngest daughter to minister to the people of China. It's always been evident that he had a heart for the people of China but I definitely was not expecting him to MOVE there. The church handled the news very well and waited patiently as the elders prayed and seeked God about the next step for Valley Creek. This weekend, they made the announcement that the associate pastor that we absolutely love will be the new senior pastor. We are thrilled. It makes this transition much smoother since it is a family who already knows and loves the church. We are excited to see the future of VCC.

We started a new small group a few weeks ago. Our old small group stopped meeting so we started shopping around and found a group we really like. The only downside-we're the only ones without kids. Chris shared a small part of our story during prayer on Sunday so people know what is going on but it often feels uncomfortable. We are taking turns sharing our testimonies the next several weeks so we'll be able to let everyone know exactly what our infertility journey has been like and how they can be praying for our future adoption situation. The kids stay at the church while we meet so we don't even see the kiddos but there's definitely a missing piece from me that I can't share with the other women. Finding a small group at our church without kids is nearly impossible. The church is full of young/middle aged couples with kids. I'm trusting that God has put us here for a reason and am excited to have a group praying for our adoption process.

On a COMPLETELY different note, yesterday was a very interesting afternoon. One of my students is Armenian and his church was having ArmenianFest. The little boy was dancing and his mom asked if I would come watch him. Chris and I headed that way after lunch and got there WAY before we expected so we drove down to an area with a bunch of little shops in Carrollton that we've been to a thousand times (near Babe's for you native Texans). When we got there they were having Sante Fe Days. There were a bunch of Native Americans dancing and selling crafts/jewelry. We shopped around a little bit and then headed to ArmenianFest. My little guy danced a traditional Armenian folk dance and it was SO interesting. I'm really hoping his family will come in to my class and share some of their culture with the kids. They would love it! I really loved celebrating all the different cultures. Here's a little picture from Sante Fe Days (taken with my iPhone so the quality is not great).

Happy Monday!

Thankful

2010-10-08T17:47:00.001-07:00

First off, I really didn't realize how many people read this until I started getting really vulnerable. I'm excited to know that people are following along our journey, even though this blog is mostly kept for me. I don't even think my family reads it. I originally started it because I wanted to be able to look back at what the Lord had done with our infertility but I never thought I would still be writing about that very thing 3 years later. Now to think we're beginning the adoption process makes it SO crazy. I guess what they say is true, NEVER SAY NEVER. I never thought we'd be looking into adoption and now I can't stop thinking about the wonderful gift adoption is. Anyway...all that's just a side note :)

I was reading through a blog the other day and found something written about infertility. I read it and I hardly felt like I related anymore. I have spent YEARS reading infertility blogs and spilling tears over what others had written because I felt the same way. I've read blogs who had fertility issues and then watched them have children, again with tears falling only this time from envy. But something feels different now. I just feel peace. I feel like I'm in a waiting period but my waiting period actually has an end in sight. The end is just a tiny speck right now because it's so far away but it's definitely there. This thing I read on infertility didn't hurt like it use to. I could COMPLETELY relate but I didn't share that emotion with the writer anymore. I no longer look at myself as INFERTILE. I look at myself as WAITING. Waiting for a selfless birth mom to give us the child that God had always intended to be ours. Waiting to meet a child that was not created BY us but was created FOR us. Waiting to have a sweet family that the Lord planned from the start. Three years ago, He knew the end. He knew how hard my heart would break and exactly how He would mold it into something new. He knew I would become incredibly vulnerable and He would use it for His purpose. He planned this from the start and I'm so thankful He never took His eyes off me. I'm thankful that in the end, we will be in His will. Although this is not anywhere near what I thought my life would look like or how I would become a parent, the Lord always did. For that, I am thankful.

When One Door Closes

2010-09-30T17:48:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I've last blogged. Summer ended, school started, football started, and more. Just makes it almost impossible to keep up with the good ole blog.

I really find it amazing how God can change a heart. Chris and I have been through SO much the past 3 years dealing with infertility. It really can cause a strain on your marriage and every other relationship you have. I pushed myself away from my friends with kids and pregnant women. I just didn't want to be envious and I knew there was no way I could be near them and not be jealous of what they had. Chris and I started out on our journey on the same page and slowly started to feel differently about fertility treatments and options. It's safe to say that my life has been "messy" the past 3 years.

But God is so faithful and good.

Chris and I knew we would have to make a decision in October about whether or not we wanted to go back to the doctor. I knew I didn't. My body and heart have been through way too much and I needed to be done. Chris was not. He wanted to keep trying. He hates seeing me on all this crazy medicine and being completely out of my mind moody but his desire to have his own children was still very strong. I started a new women's Bible study a couple weeks ago and it's from the book of Jonah. Most people are familiar-Jonah in the belly of the whale-but this is getting deep. We're talking about interruptions in our lives (Jonah's interruption being God asking him to go to Ninevah) and how we try to run from them (Jonah traveling to Tarshish and ending up in a big fish belly). The Lord put it SO heavy on my heart that my Ninevah is adoption. I run to infertility treatments (my Tarshish) because it's the complete opposite direction that God wants me to go...just like Jonah. I was a little worried to talk to Chris about it because I knew how he felt about having his own kids. We ended up talking and decided that adoption is definitely the next step in our journey. We filled out our preapplication with an agency and will be going to our first workshop November 12th. We could NOT be happier. I know in my heart that this is exactly where the Lord wants us to be right now.

We have several prayer requests right now. I'm going to bullet them because I'm a super dork:

Pray for our hearts to be in the right place. We are very excited right now but ultimately want to hear from God and know this is His will.
Pray for our finances. Adoption is extremely expensive and we're praying for the Lord to provide in a way only He can.
Pray for our future baby who is probably not even conceived yet. Pray that God would put a hedge of protection around the birth mom and the baby.
Pray for the baby's birth mom (and family). The agency we're planning on going through counsels pregnant women to not abort babies. Once moms make that decision, a small percentage choose adoption. Some choose to keep the child. No matter what their decision, they counsel the mothers and teach them the love of Jesus. I'm praying that this adoption will be a TRUE miracle of God-that we will be led to the child God created just for us, that the mother would be led to Christ, and that everyone we interact with is changed by this testimony. We've prayed for a miracle for 3 years not knowing that God could do it in a MUCH BIGGER way than we expected. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

I really can't write about this with out crying. If you would have asked me 1 year ago if I would be interested in adoption I would for sure have said no. Now we could not be more excited about the future. God is truly so good.

Just Sad

2010-07-25T18:11:00.000-07:00

Man, this hurts. I really wish I wasn't writing this but here it goes.

Chris and I just had miscarriage number 2 after 3 years of trying. I was 6 weeks.

We did another Clomid/IUI cycle in June and kept it a little more low key. I was devastated the last time it didn't work and didn't want to work myself up by talking about it with a lot of people. I started having some cramping about a week before I was due to take a pregnancy test and thought for sure I was not pregnant. About 2 days before I was due, I randomly took a test and that magic pink line showed up. I was shaking. I could not believe it. I called Chris IMMEDIATELY (he was coaching a baseball game, bad wife move) and he was thrilled. I tried not to get excited because of our previous miscarriage but it was almost impossible. We had blood work done and the doctor confirmed the pregnancy. My next blood draw was not great news. My numbers had gone up but not doubled so they wanted another test. I went back and my numbers started doubling so we scheduled my 7 week sonogram to see the heartbeat and waited. I had real pregnancy symptoms. Last time I miscarried too quickly to really experience pregnancy so I was thrilled to run to the bathroom and pee every 6 seconds. I loved having little moments of nausea because I knew it meant that baby was on the way. Then Tuesday came. I started having some spotting and my doctor's nurse assured me that everything was fine, first trimester bleeding is totally normal. I bed rested Tuesday-Friday. Friday turned to a little heavier bleeding and Saturday the pregnancy ended (in a Flooring America bathroom, no less while buyers were looking at our home. Talk about bad timing). I'm hoping to get into the doctor tomorrow to see if a D & C will be necessary.

I'm hanging in there but I'm so mad myself for getting excited so fast. I really thought this wasn't even a possibility with all the fertility drugs and testing I've been through. I'm really trusting that God had some sort of plan in this. Last time we miscarried, we prayed for God to close the door on IVF and he did. As devastating as the miscarriage was, it was an answer to prayer. This time I see no logical reason. I know God's ways are not our ways, but man, I wish I could know what the plan is so I could stop hurting.

Please be praying for me and Chris. I'm really not wanting to ever be pregnant again because of all this hurt and I'm ready to move on to adoption. Chris is not. He is still wanting and praying for a biological child. This is the first time in this process we have not been on the same page and I hate it. I really, really do not want to get pregnant because I'm deathly afraid of miscarriage and I know I will worry the entire time which is not healthy. Pray for guidance and peace as we work through this situation.

Blog Hop-The Proposal Story

2010-06-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

Kelly's Korner is hosting a little blog hop and because I love it so much, I thought I would share my proposal story. :)

Chris and I had been dating for about 3 years and I knew that he was getting ready to propose soon. We had looked at rings together and discussed marriage so I knew it wasn't much longer. Chris had told me to take off for the weekend because his parents were going to be in town for a baseball scrimmage and he was a grad assistant coach. That was clue number 1. His parents had come in town a million times and he never asked me to take off work.

So what do I do, being the blunt, honest person that I am?? Call him out on it!! I asked 2 nights before he proposed if he was going to do it! He, of course, denied it and said he couldn't afford to get me the ring I wanted and if I wanted to settle for less than he wanted to give me...blah, blah, blah! LIAR! HA!

So fast forward to Saturday afternoon. Missouri Baptist was playing a double header scrimmage. Lunch was going to be provided between games and Chris said he needed me to be there for it. After the first game, Chris came up to meet me (which is weird looking back at it, the rest of the team was on the field). The head coach had the mic and said "before we bless the food I would like you all to direct your attention to the score board." Four of the players dropped a bed sheet over it that said "Kristin, will you marry me?"

I looked in front of me and Chris was on one knee with the ring box open. Chris's mom was right next to us snapping pictures the whole time. It was really awesome that his family was there for it and we got some really great pictures too.

I was so excited/nervous that I grabbed the ring out of the box! He told me HE'S suppose to put it on my finger...so I let him :)

I'm SO in love with my ring-I can't even begin to tell you. Chris worked so hard to get me that ring and I absolutely treasure it. My best friend from high school's family owned a jewelry store in St. Louis so we were very fortunate to be able to get each other what they wanted for a relatively great deal.

It was so fun to walk around the rest of the afternoon showing off my bling to a ton of people who saw our special moment take place. I was shaking for the rest of the day so showing it off was a little hard-I had to hold my hand with my other hand so people could look.

The proposal was followed by a 16 month engagement which I would not recommend. It's hard to believe we've been married over four years already!

Clocked Out

2010-06-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

I'm soooooo incredibly jealous of Chris right now-his last day of school was Thursday and we still go until NEXT Thursday!!! Geez. Talk about unfair!

Speaking of school, I really am unsure how exactly I'm going to work 4 more days. I ADORE my kiddos and will miss them terribly but my mind is already set on next year. I'm thinking about moving my Kinder stuff back to school, decorating my new room, and coming up with super cute beginning of school ideas. Not to mention my 3rd graders are OUT OF THEIR MINDS CRAZY right now. Things just haven't been the same since the TAKS test. They are clocked out. Doesn't help much that their teacher is too :)

Chris has games today and I'm thinking with the 102 degree temperature, working at school sounds pretty good. That's just a little toasty to be sitting outside for a ball game. I'm going to pack every single thing up so I'm just moving and setting up after the kids leave Thursday. *FINGERS CROSSED*

On a completely random note, I've been obsessed with the Sirius Radio stations on our Dish TV. I listen to 90's on 9 just about every day. Right now Livin La Vida Loca is on...do you even know how much I loved that song? So funny! It's actually an incredibly stupid song but I'm loving the memories!

Coupon Crazy

2010-05-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

Can I just tell y'all that I am SO excited?!?! I'll start at the very beginning-

My mom has a client and good friend who is a dedicated coupon shopper. She is always getting good deals. SOMEHOW, she got like a YEAR worth of free Folgers coffee and brings it to my mom weekly because she doesn't drink it. Um...hello!!! I want free coffee! So I decided that with summer quickly approaching and having MUCH more time on my hands, I would give this coupon thing a try. Why not right? So Saturday I sat on the couch, clipping and web surfing, for about an hour or two. I cut nearly every coupon that was in the Sunday paper from last week and searching for manufacturer coupons on products we needed. I don't have a good system in place yet so I just threw all the coupons I knew I was going to use this week in a little plastic baggie and skipped (literally because I was SO excited to save money!) to Kroger. The only things I did not have coupons for that I bought were ingredients for a dessert I made for a party last night, bread, meat, and veggies. Everything else I bought because I had a coupon. I will say it took a little extra time looking for EXACTLY the right brand, product, etc. but it was ultimately worth it. When I finally got up to the register, the lady rang me up and scanned my 50 gazillion coupons, I was practically jumping up and down. I watched my total go from $203.11 to $156.89!! I saved $46.22. Here's how the break down went-$24.89 on manufacturer's coupons, $4.10 on bonus coupon savings (Kroger matches coupons under $.50), and $17.23 from my Kroger card which equals $46.22. It was TOTALLY worth looking like a 90 year old lady rummaging through coupons down every aisle :)

Just to warn you, when you use 25 coupons in one trip, your receipt will look a little like this

I also just want to state that I searched my entire keyboard for a "cents" key (when I wrote $.50) and just realized that it doesn't exist. Is it that way on all computers? What's up with that? I am using our little laptop so maybe it's on bigger, better computers? Just thought that was pretty weird....

Back At It

2010-05-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

I've been a VERY bad blogger. Life has gotten crazy and my poor blog has taken the back burner. I'll try to fill you in quickly-

Chris took a summer league team. He's coaching the 12U boys of the North Texas Titans. He was home for about a week without coaching and started getting bored so this will be perfect. Practices twice a week and tournaments on the weekends makes for a nice little summer job. He just can't stay away from baseball!

I am moving BACK to Kindergarten next year. I loved 3rd grade but my heart is with the babies. There's a lot of switching around happening next year so it will be different, and in my opinion, exciting. In the words of Sheryl Crow "I think a change, will do you good." Clever, right??

We have not been back to the fertility specialist but plan to in June. My heart was really broken the last time when the IUI didn't work so I really needed a break. I think I'm ready now. Summer is the best time to do it anyway for 2 reasons-1. my due date would fall PERFECT for a teacher and 2. there's no stress about taking off work, sub planning, etc. I just schedule an appointment and show up! Not to mention my hormones go INSANE so being in the privacy of my own home and not at work is a great thing.

We've been going crazy working on the house and Chris is obsessed with looking at new houses. We bought new couches, had Chris' grandma recover the pillows, a new desk, painted the office, and I got a nice little surprise from Chris on Mother's Day (I know I'm not a mom but I work so hard at TRYING to become one-plus I love Dallas like a baby so I think I deserved it)....A NEW SEWING MACHINE!!!! I can't WAIT to spruce up my curtains and make new ones for the office. I've made 2 pillows for my classroom as a quick-let me get the hang of this-project and I'm absolutely obsessed with my sewing machine. Man, these things have come a long way from 8th grade Home Ec! They're like little computers! I'll get started on a new project here quickly so I can share with the blog world.

I think that's all I've got. I'll try to update y'all again soon-with school coming to an end, hopefully I'll be back to my normal (eh, mediocre) blogger self. :)

This and That

2010-04-20T19:13:00.001-07:00

For those of you who did not know, this month's IUI was not successful. I was fine the first few days but it hit me Thursday. I'm unable to do another IUI this month because of TAKS test timing (ridiculous, I know!) and I'm actually very glad. I need a little break. So this month will I'll be focused on having fun and not worrying about a baby.

On a positive note, we bought new couches! When I came home crying my eyes out Thursday because of our failed IUI, Chris suggested we go buy. We've been looking for a little while and knew what we wanted so we went for it. Our previous couches were cream colored microfiber and showed dirt way too easily. We decided it would be best to get something dark for we went for chocolate chenille with lots of pillows. I would post a pic but my camera is at school so it won't be today. Plus I hate the throw pillows. I'm getting them recovered as soon as I find fabric. My friend Courtney and I are looking at fabric Thursday so hopefully I'll find something then.

Tonight I went to yoga and it felt SOOO good. I've been slacking in the gym motivation department (mostly due to all the baby stress) so it was nice to hit it again. It makes me so much more aware of what I'm putting in my body too. I came home and cooked some chicken and green beans...by the way....how good are green beans??? I never cook them because Chris doesn't like them but they are YUMM-O!

1st IUI

2010-03-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

You want to see reason #556 that infertility sucks???

(Sorry this is so fuzzy...I took it with my iPhone)

Chris looks a little too excited about stabbing me with that thing...ha! He gave my the HCG trigger shot at 9pm Sunday night and I went in today at 10:45 for the IUI. I have to say it was really interesting. Chris's count was OUTSTANDING so hopefully they find their way to my eggs. Now I'm in the awful 2 week wait before we know anything. PLEASE be praying that this is the one and only time we have to do this!

I also need to say congrats to my husband and the FR Wildcats on their undefeated season in district so far. Last night was a SERIOUS whooping. BAD. Like you pray that it ends soon because you're beyond humiliated for the other team. The Wildcats beat Wichita Falls 23-0. One of the middle school coaches Chris works with sent a text today saying "congrats on your football score last night!" SO TRUE. The Wildcats play Ryan Friday so my fingers are crossed for no rain!

Why Bother Making Plans???

2010-03-28T16:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why I tell y'all what is going on with my eggs because it changes CONSTANTLY!! I went to the doctor Saturday to check on my follicles and they had grown about 2 mm in 2 days so they STILL weren't ready. Dr. Haas decided to have us wait until Sunday at 9 pm to get the shot and then do the IUI at 10:45 Tuesday. Chris and I have decided to take the entire day off work to hang out and enjoy each other after the craziness we've been through the past couple off weeks with meds, doctor appointments, etc. I really don't have an "feeling" on this cycle but Chris truly thinks that an IUI is all we've needed this entire time. He says it may not necessarily be this cycle but he thinks we'll get pregnant with an IUI soon. I guess time will tell!

On a separate subject, our sweet dog has MAJOR separation anxiety. She'll sometimes throws up when we leave and other nasty stuff to let us know how much she hates that we leave her. We crate her everytime we leave the house and she's always like her cage and would go hang out in there if we were busy with other things. The past month, everytime I come home there's a big pile of drool at the door of her crate. I thought it was weird so I looked it up and there's a lot of beagles who drool when they're anxious. Then last night, we came home from dinner at a friend's house and she had CHEWED AN ENTIRE METAL BAR OFF and chewed the base of another one so that it was popping off. There were drops of blood in her cage and some on the carpet just in front of it. We looked all over her and couldn't find any cuts on her so it must have been in her mouth. WHAT IN THE WORLD?? We threw out her crate and we're going to try letting her roam the house when we leave. I'm mostly concerned with potty in the house because she's not a chewer (unless it's a metal dog crate apparently) and she mostly sleeps during the day. Hopefully she will hold it like she does in her cage. Her crate was kept in the room that will HOPEFULLY be the nursery one day so I'm hoping that was the Lord's way at getting that room cleaned out to prepare for our miracle IUI baby...HA! That's what I'm praying for!

Growing Follicles

2010-03-25T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today I had my ultrasound to check on my follicles with Dr. Haas. The original plan was to look at my follicles, take the Novarel shot, and IUI on Friday or Saturday. That was changed rather quickly once he took a look at my follicles and saw that the two biggest were only 16 mm and 15.5 mm. So instead of going in Saturday for an IUI, I'm going in to look at my follicles again. BUMMER. He doesn't want to do the trigger shot until the follicles are at least at an 18 so hopefully they'll be nice and big on Saturday. The good news is I have two this month that look like they'll release eggs. I'm hoping that because there are two, it will double our chance of it working. Maybe even twin baby Crowders!

I promise other things go on in my life besides just fertility fun but I know that most of you reading want to know what's going on so I'm trying my best to keep you updated. Keep on praying for our miracle baby!

Getting my GRADE on

2010-03-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

Can I just say I HATE grading papers?? I remember in elementary school me and some other girls would ask to stay inside at recess to help other teachers grade papers and now that I'm an teacher, I can't stand it. It doesn't help that I let it pile up a little bit before I really start tackling the grading. I spent the entire night parked on my couch gettin my grade on. Who's jealous???

Pray for tomorrow...going in for an ultrasound to look at my eggs. Hopefully there will be several BIG ones ready for an IUI Friday or Saturday!

Tough Night

2010-03-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

Man, I am SUPER down tonight. I don't know if it's all the meds/hormones or what but I have been crying most of the night. In the past week, I've found out that two of my friends are pregnant. I'm happy for them...REALLY, REALLY happy for them but my heart hurts. I hear them, I'm excited, and I immediately wonder when or if it ever will be my turn. I know I should be hopeful right now with all the treatment were doing and a FABULOUS doctor who's finding out more and more about why this is going on with us but I'm just burnt out. It probably doesn't help that I'm full of crazy infertility meds and baseball season is in full swing meaning I never see my husband.

I really would love it if you could pray for me. I'm asking for God to take away this desire to have a baby if it's not His will. If the Lord wants me to continue to work at this, I absolutely will but if we are not meant to have children, I pray this desire goes away quickly so I can focus my time/energy/money toward something else.

Alright. My pity party is officially over. The END.

The Latest and the Greatest

2010-03-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

So I had my MRI done on Monday and there was no tumor...or it there was it was so tiny the MRI machine didn't pick it up. We went to the doctor Tuesday to start round #2 of treatments. He decided to take me off the Femera and put me back on Clomid and up the dosage to 100mg. I had one large follicle with Femera but we're hoping for several this time. I'll start Estradiol Monday, take it through Wednesday, and have an IUI on Friday or Saturday (depending how my follicles look at my appt Thursday). So that's the new plan of attack.

While we were there, he gave me some updates on my blood work. Turns out, all my hormones are out of whack. My progesterone and estrogen are both low, my prolactin is high, and my thyroid is low enough to effect ovulation. Sometimes I ovulate, sometimes I don't, and when I do, it's a crappy egg. So my chart FINALLY has a diagnosis on the top..."Ovulatory Dysfunction." This sounds completely ridiculous but I'm SOOOOO happy! "Unexplained Infertility" super sucks. With ovulatory dysfunction, it's fixable. So we'll see what happens with this next round. I couldn't be happier with my doctor. He's fabulous!

Today is the last weekday of spring break...boo! I'm trying to talk Chris into letting me be a stay at home dog mom. I don't think it's working =(

Pituitary what????

2010-03-01T15:40:00.001-08:00

Let's just start this by saying I hate going to the doctor. I absolutely despise it. I hate the smell, the atmosphere, waiting forever...pretty much everything that goes on there. That's why I know God has a sense of humor. Me, total doctor hater, is going through infertility. I go to the doctor almost weekly now, take medicine, give myself shots (not yet but I had to learn for next month), and blood drawn. UGH.

So today I check my phone during Study Hall duty and I had a missed call from my infertility doctor. Strange. I immediately start freaking out. My friend Beth was in the room and tried reassuring me that it was probably just to reschedule an appointment. Problem was, I didn't have an appointment. Obviously something was not right. After freaking out the last several hours of the school day, I called them back to find out what was going on and to stop myself from going into cardiac arrest. She told me that my blood work came back and my prolactin levels are low. They want to do an MRI to see what is going on with my pituitary gland. This makes me both extremely excited and scared out of my mind. I'm happy because I have been to 3 doctors now and this is the ONLY guy who's checked everything out. This could be a simple fix and then we're on the road to parenthood. I'm petrified of what exactly could be wrong but hopefully this is the missing link to find out exactly why our 28 months of trying for a Baby Crowder have been unsuccessful.

As I've been ending every post these days, please pray. Pray that if something is wrong, they find it and can easily fix it. Pray for my nerves as I have a mild heart attack every day from today until March 9th at 2pm when I have the MRI. Pray for a peace that surpasses understanding from the Lord. I know he has all of this in His mighty hand so pray that I'm reminded that every day. He is good!

Allergies

2010-02-28T16:25:00.001-08:00

Meet my new best friend-

I'm only alive and breathing right now because of my sweet sinus rinse bottle. I can't tell if it's allergies or a cold but my nose is CLOGGED. So gross. Because of the infertility treatment, I haven't taken any medicine so I don't interfere whatever it is my body is doing. I'm not sure it would really harm anything at this point but I just assume "better safe than sorry." The sinus rinse really helps me anyway because I have a slight deviated septum so it keeps me from getting a sinus infection which I'm about 96% certain are from the Devil.

Chris had a tournament this weekend and the Freshman did AMAZING! 3-0 BABY! The weather was gorgeous and despite the fact I couldn't breathe through my nose, I loved every minute of it. Bring on baseball season!!

Doctor Update

2010-02-26T18:32:00.001-08:00

I went to the doctor on Thursday and had good news...I had a nice big follicle in my right ovary ready to release an egg! The doctor went ahead and gave me a trigger shot and told me and Chris to try naturally for the next 3 days. The Novarel shot didn't hurt but I'm SUPER sore at the injection site today. Hope this works so I don't have to do that again!

After that I had to get blood drawn from the BloodCorp downstairs from the doctor. Let me tell you, I'm a BABY!!! The nurse took 2 tubes and I LITERALLY almost passed out. I'm talking stood up, had to sit back down, and then had to LAY down because the room was spinning. Maybe this is why I'm not getting pregnant...how in the world will I handle child labor if I can't give blood??? Iy ya ya....

Alright y'all, you know the drill....pray, pray, PRAY. I know God has a plan for a baby Crowder and we're hoping that it's now!

You Won't Relent (Seal)

2010-02-21T16:55:00.000-08:00

I'm COMPLETELY obsessed with this song right now. What an amazing description of God's love for us.

Awesome, huh??

Time for Treatment #1 (and hopefully ONLY!)

2010-02-14T08:31:00.000-08:00

Well...my cycle has begun. I'm going in the next day or two for my first ultrasound (to make sure I'm producing eggs) and I begin Clomid Tuesday. After my round of Clomid, I'll go back in to check on my follicles and have and HCG shot to release the eggs. Chris and I will work hard (wink wink!) the next few days and then go back for a progesterone count in about 3 weeks. Prayer warriors, PLEASE pray! Not knowing why we aren't getting pregnant is SOOOO frustrating and it would be a gift from God for this to work our first try. We have been trying to have a baby for 28 MONTHS and are in need of some good news. Chris and I greatly appreciate the prayers and now that the Lord has a big plan for a future baby Crowder!

*****CORRECTION****** My doctor decided against Clomid and put me on Femera. I've read lots of success stories about Femera-especially loving the fact it doesn't thin the uterine lining like Clomid. Since we have low progesterone (which is what thickens the uterine lining), I really can't afford it to be thin! I go back for a second ultrasound February 25th so pray for BIG follicles/eggs to come!

Helllloooooo!

2010-02-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

Honey, where are you? It's 6:50 pm and you're no where to be found....

Wait.....

It's baseball season. Guess I'll see him again in June!

Prayers Needed

2010-01-26T16:40:00.000-08:00

Y'all, my heart is just BREAKING tonight. Our church in STL is going through something extremely devastating and there is nothing anyone can do right now but pray.

A woman from the church, with a 9 year old daughter, shot her husband 5 times this morning, reportedly in front of the 9 year old. He is alive but in critical condition. He still has several life threatening wounds so there is no certainty that he will pull through yet.

It's one of those situations that I really don't know who I'm hurting for. I mean obviously, I'm hurting for the poor man as he sits in the hospital but the poor, poor daughter. NINE YEARS OLD people. Her mommy is in jail and her daddy is in critical condition. My biggest concern at 9 years old was whether my mom was going to let me wear shorts to school. I can't imagine having to deal with this.

I really can't stop thinking about what went through the wife's head to think this was a good solution to whatever the problem was. I mean, let's face it, we've all been angry with our spouses. I'll even go so far to say I'd like to slug him one but N E V E R would I even consider shooting him, and I think it's safe to say she was shooting to kill (FIVE gunshots???). And these are not crazy people who had fights every day....these are people who love Jesus. People who know Jesus as their Savior. I'm not saying that when you come to the Lord your problems are wiped away but man, you just don't think of good Christians flying off the handle like that. It hurts my heart to think how quickly someone could fall from walking with the Lord to an incredible act of violence. Like my dad said, we are always just one phone call from our knees. That is so true isn't it?

Will you join me in prayer? Pray for the husband's healing, physically now and mentally as he becomes stable, the wife's heart-that she would realize what she has done to her family and lay herself before the Lord completely broken, asking for forgiveness from her Father, and for the daughter to have the Lord's peace swarming here. Pray that she would learn at the young age of 9 how to lean on Jesus as her Comforter, Provider, and Healer.

Blogging is Hard Work

2010-01-24T11:58:00.001-08:00

I hate that I went through a period of time where I REALLY kept up with my blog because now I'm feeling like a total bloggy FAILURE. Oh well. Life happens I guess.

So, here's the latest Crowder news in a nutshell. Chris and I entertained the thought of moving back to STL for a little bit and were shut down by our realtor. Because we've only been in our house for 2 years, we still owe quite a bit and with the economy like it is...let's just say we would lose some serious cash. We were a little disappointed but glad that we now know we'll be in Dallas for at least another year. I still absolutely love Dallas but the thought of being by my family makes my heart very happy. We'll get there, eventually.

The good news about not going to STL is working on baby Crowder! We were not going to go back to the fertility specialist because of insurance switches/drama if we moved while preggo. Now that it's out of the plans, we're going to go for it. We plan on starting our next treatment as soon as I begin my next cycle (likely in 2 weeks or so). Our doctor plans on me going back on Clomid, doing a trigger shot to ovulate, Chris and I trying naturally, and some progesterone therapy to sustain a pregnancy if everything works out. I'm SUPER happy with this plan. Our last doctor wanted us to immediately move to some pretty serious injections (I'm talking Jon and Kate plus 8....minus one total tool now) without trying anything else first. YIKES! Taking it slow is definitely how I would prefer it. Please be praying for some good news to come soon!

Other than that, things are same old, same old. Chris and I have been hitting the gym pretty hard and trying to eat right. This is the longest I've held the "get healthy" resolution so I'm pretty proud of us. I'm reading Jillian Michaels' "Mastering Your Metabolism" which is pretty dang interesting and scary to think about. I'll keep you updated on how it's going....ok....who am I kidding. I'll blog again in about a month and a half...HA!

A New Year

2010-01-01T20:33:00.000-08:00

Time is so weird. How is it that sometimes life goes by so slow and other times it just flies by? How is it that I'm watching bowl games with my husband and I am SEVERAL years older than any player on the field? Or watching the Real World (I know it's stupid but it's my thing, let it go) and they're all 21 and 22? I was just that age!!! Now it's 2010, I'm an adult, I have a house, a husband, a dog...what in the world???

I thought I would give a brief run down on the joy and sadness 2009 has brought us.

January-Happy 2009! Chris was crazy coaching basketball and anxiously awaiting baseball season to begin. I finished my 3rd and final round of Clomid and found out we were, once again, not pregnant.

February-Baseball season was in full swing (no pun intended) and I spent many days/nights sitting in the freezing cold supporting my hubby. We went to an infertility specialist and decided to do IVF in the summer. We had all our friends and family pray that God would close a door on IVF if that was not His will.

March-We became pregnant and miscarried. A very sad time in our lives but a blessing that God closed the door on IVF. We decide to book VACATIONS and enjoy each other.

April-I spent a lot of time checking out my husband's backside at baseball games. His freshman team was PHENOMENAL. I was definitely a proud coach's wife. =)

May-Chopped off all my hair for Ponytail Kids Club. 8 crazy inches. Swine Flu craze his Lewisville ISD. We closed for a week and didn't have to make it up. That was amazing and will probably never happen again. Chris got smoked in the head with a baseball. Luckily, he was fine.

June-School's out for summer! Traveled all around having a blast together. San Francisco, a marriage retreat, and Florida all in the month of June.

July-Visit the family in St. Louis. Watch SYTYCD until my husband wants to throw the TV away. Sleep until 10. Live it up teacher style!

August-I get a year older. Find out I'm going to teach third grade instead of Kindergarten. Set up a new classroom in a week.

September-We start getting involved at the new church. Make new friends and join a small group. Chris gets a year older. Find out I love 3rd grade!

October-Had fun with trick or treaters in our neighborhood...that may be my favorite thing about being a home owner! Football season is tiring but oh so much fun. The high school is AMAZING this year!

November-Middle school football ends. I start to notice this guy sleeping in my bed. He said he was my husband but I forgot I had one from all the football games. My parents traveled south for Thanksgiving. We hosted both sides of the family for the second ever Crowder Thanksgiving. I cook one MEAN turkey y'all.

December-Playoffs for football. Guyer lost to the same team they lost to last year in the semi finals. Had a CRAZY GOOD season. Traveled to STL for Christmas. Enjoyed my family so much it's disgusting. Crazy organized our house thanks to my new found love, Dymo Labelmaker.

2010...what do you have in store for the Crowder's? We can hardly wait to find out!

Sorry if there's a thousand and one grammar/spelling errors. I did not read back through this because it took WAAAAYYY longer than I wanted to spend on the computer. Night y'all!

Surgery was a SUCCESS!

2009-11-24T15:56:00.000-08:00

Chris' umbilical hernia surgery went very smoothly. The hernia was smaller than they originally thought so they ended up just sewing it up instead of inserting the mesh. Chris did well under the anesthetic and was pretty well drugged most of the day yesterday. They gave him Darvocet so outside of being sore, he's feeling pretty good.

After surgery yesterday, the brought me back with Chris' mom to chat with him while he was in recovery. When they decided it was time to discharge him, they gave me his clothes and told me to help him get dressed. It CRACKED me up. Partially because I felt like I was doing something wrong being asked to dress my husband in front of his mom (I didn't dress him in front of his mom, just asked to dress him...ha!) and partially because it's EXACTLY what I expect our lives to be like in about 60 years. Me helping my husband put his drawers on every day...HILARIOUS!

My mom and dad are heading to Dallas as we speak (or type...whateva) and should be here in a few hours. I'm sure it will be an eventful week with Steve and Debbi =)

Two end of November prayer requests

2009-11-21T09:00:00.001-08:00

Alright ya'll. Chris and I are in need of your prayers. Lots going on at the end of November.

About 6 months ago, my ultra competitive husband went mountain biking with some guys. My husband....not a mountain biker. He doesn't have a mountain bike so he used on of the guys old, beat up bikes. After a few hours of riding, he came home, about to die. He, of course, wanted to hang with the guys that actually ARE mountain bikers so pushed himself till near death. A few days later, a little lump appeared on his belly button. Yup. Umbilical hernia. So Chris decided to schedule his surgery for Thanksgiving so he would have the time to heal while off work. Alas, the time is here. Chris goes into surgery Monday morning. It's a minor day surgery but my husband has never had surgery. Pray that everything goes well.

Prayer request number 2. We're going to see another infertility specialist November 30th. We've been to one and just didn't feel good about it. She immediately wanted to start injections and IUI's without really checking anything out. I'm not exactly comfortable with pumping my body full of hormones without knowing exactly what is going on with us (we still fall under the "Unexplained Infertility" category). A girl I work with has been trying SEVEN years, went to this fertility doctor, and got pregnant on Clomid and an IUI. For those of you who are not well versed in infertility talk, that costs about $2,500 less than the injections our first doctor wanted us to do. I'm not expecting for that exactly to happen to us but it's comforting to know that her doctor didn't automatically ask her to do the high ticket treatments. All this to say, we're going to her doctor. I'm hopeful and praying that the Lord is planning on giving us our miracle soon. Please be praying for guidance and comfort for us during the next few months as we are working with this new doctor.

A Visit from Costello and Microwave Explosion

2009-11-15T17:32:00.001-08:00

One of Chris' old roommates and best of friends, Costello, was in town from Nashville this weekend. Holy moly have we missed that guy. He is the king of randomness and made us laugh SO hard. Here's a few things he did that made me crack up (hopefully these will be funny even if you weren't there)-

He tells us that one Sunday at church, a girl standing next to him randomly started holding his hand during worship. He freaked out....does that really happen????
He told us a guy gave him a bed because he's had the same one since college (with no box spring, laying on the ground). We asked why he doesn't just buy a bed and he said "because I don't know how big my wife is going to be!" HA!
He's laying on the floor and randomly says "I can be a piece of bacon." Then he proceeds to CONVULSE on the ground like he's having a seizure. He said it's similar to bacon hopping around in a frying pan. After he was finished with his seizure, he sits up and says "it looks much better without my shirt on." Weird....

Speaking of bacon...I had Chris' family over for dinner to celebrate his mom and dad's birthdays. I thought it would be really fun to make each make our own little homemade pizza (and it was!) so I chopped, drained, and cooked all the toppings. I put some bacon in the microwave on a ceramic plate and BAM! The entire plate EXPLODED in my microwave. I'm talking shattered into a thousand pieces. I have no idea how it didn't damage the microwave but the only casualties were the plate and the bacon. Weird.

One more week of school and then off for a WHOLE WEEK! I'm doing a Thanksgiving play with my 3rd graders for their parents Friday...pray I can make it until then. Planning a play with 8 year old kiddos might give me a mental breakdown! HA! They're so excited which is awesome...hopefully it goes well!

Happy 2 Year Anniversary, House!

2009-11-09T18:08:00.000-08:00

Today we have lived in our house for 2 years. CRAZY! I remember being so excited while they were building it...we would drive by nearly everyday to see what was going on. We've loved being home owners-even mowing the lawn has been a fun, new adventure for us (ok, mostly Chris. I've mowed the lawn twice). I'm so thankful for our home and all the memories we have in it.

All about the Crowder's

2009-10-27T18:55:00.000-07:00

I haven nothing much to say but I actually have TIME to blog so here's a little survey I stole from my friend, Lindsey's blog. Enjoy getting to know "The Crowder's."

♥What are your middle names?
Renee and Carroll. Guess which is mine and his.

♥How long have you been together?
Married for almost 4...together for almost 7.

♥How long did you know each other before you started dating?
A couple of weeks.

♥Who asked who out?
Chris asked me.

♥Who made the first move?
Chris. Definitely moved in for the kiss after I ate Taco Bell. I'm sure that was tasty.

♥How old are each of you?
I'm 26, he's 28.

♥Did you go to the same school?
The same college.

♥Are you from the same home town?
Nope. I'm from St. Louis, he's from Dallas.

♥Who is the smartest?
That's not a very nice question! We're both smart in different ways. He's a GENIUS when it comes to money and I'm an idiot. We're just different =)

♥Who majored in what?
Me, elem. education. Chris, Kinesiology/Health Science.

♥Who is the most sensitive?
Me FOR SURE. I'm ultra sensitive!

♥Where do you eat out most as a couple?
It use to be Corner Bakery but we hardly ever get to eat TOGETHER now that we're in football season.

♥Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Probably Mexico. Or California. Mexico isn't that far from Texas.

♥Who has the worst temper?
Me. Not good.

♥How many children do you want?
As many as God gives us. I'm hoping that's at least one.

♥Who does the cooking?
Me. Poor Chris can hardly boil water.

♥Who is more social?
We're both pretty social but Chris is a little more than me.

♥Who is the neat-freak?
Me. Chris has no problem being messy.

♥Who is the most stubborn?
Chris. I'm pretty stubborn myself though.

♥Who wakes up earlier?
Me. Not fun. at. all.

♥Where was your first date?
We went to see the movie Signs. Super romantic, huh?

♥Who has the bigger family?
Me. By about a thousand people.

♥Do you get flowers often?
No and I'm not complaining. I would rather have a Starbucks or a little present than flowers.

♥How do you spend the holidays?
We split. If he gets Thanksgiving, I get Christmas. If I get Christmas, he gets Thanksgiving.

♥Who is more jealous?
Neither of us are very jealous people.

♥Who eats more?
Chris. But don't be deceived, I can put some food AWAY!

♥What do you do for a living?
I teach third grade. Chris teaches Inclusion and coaches football/baseball.

♥Who does the laundry?
We share it. But mostly me.

♥Who’s better with the computer?
Me. Chris could care less about electronics.

♥Who drives when you are together?
Chris. Even though I'm usually scared for my life and am a TERRIBLE backseat driver.

♥What is "your" song?
No song. We danced out of our wedding to "Everlasting Love" which was pretty fun. I think that officially just became our song.

Now you know everything you never really needed to know about us. You are SO very welcome.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2009-10-24T18:38:00.000-07:00

Here's how our spelling test went down Friday morning-

Me: Boys and girls, remember our spelling words have an "ow" or "ou" pattern in them. If you don't have an "ow" or "ou" in your word, it's going to be wrong.

Sweet little TEXAS boy: Don't you say "OU" to me...I'm a Longhorns' fan!

I COULD NOT hold it together after that. Only in Texas!

2 years of infertility

2009-10-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

I was reminded quite a bit this past weekend about us still not being pregnant. I very rarely check my email at home but I checked it randomly on Sunday morning. Apparently I signed up when I found out I was pregnant on some website that tells you what's going on with the baby/your body and received an email from them. The email title was "Today you're 32 weeks." I lost it. I would be having showers, the nursery would be set up, I would know the sex. I have done SO well at giving that to God but I feel like grabbing it back now, ya know?

I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for as long as we have (did I mention this month is our 2 year anniversary of trying?). She is 35 and getting very impatient. This month they did IVF and found out this weekend that she is pregnant (not blood test confirmed yet but positives on 5 HPTs). I was SO happy for her I cried. I've never been so happy for another person in my life. Then the bitterness and greed set in. I now have no one on this journey with me. I HATE being that way because she is my friend and I'm SO happy for her but I want it so badly for myself. The longer I struggle with infertility, the more I see my sinful nature.

After the kids left today, I put my ipod on. A song came on and IMMEDIATELY sent me into tears. It's exactly how I feel about my sinful nature and why God allows us to go through these things. I thought I would post it...maybe it will help you where you are at too.

Let it all out
get it all out
rip it out remove it
don't be alarmed
when the wound begins to bleed

cause we're so scared to find out
what this life's all about
so scared we're going to lose it
not knowing all along
that's exactly what we need

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
oh, inconsistent me
crying out for consistency

and you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

and I'll let it be known
at times I have shown
signs of all my weakness
but somewhere in me
there is strength

and you promise me
that you believe
in time I will defeat this
cause somewhere in me
there is strength

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
and I'll try my best to just forget
that that man isn't me

reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you
for you

and I know you know
you touched my life
when you touched my heavy heart and made it light

Bad Blogger and CAAAUTE Shoes

2009-10-11T18:26:00.000-07:00

I've officially become the worst blogger ever. It's IM-POSS-I-BLE to keep up with it and work at the same time! I'll try harder.

After church this morning, Chris and I went shopping around. I've been eyeing some cute slouch boots for a while now (okay, since the weather dropped below 90 which has only been about a week) so we headed to Rack Room Shoes. Wouldn't you know, they're having a "buy one get one 50% off" sale! So I bought a pair of cute pumps for school and these beautys....

Hello LOVEEEEERR! Obsessed. I love these boots with a cute little fall outfit like this one...

Super cute, right? Now to find the perfect pair of skinny jeans....
No work tomorrow (thank you Christopher Columbus!) so maybe I'll fill you in on the rest of my life then!

Ants and Books

2009-09-20T17:33:00.000-07:00

We've been getting a TON of rain here in Texas (hello Mother Nature...my kiddos need to get out and PLAY!!!) and it helped these friends to build a nice new home in my backyard...

Yes friends, that is an ant pile. My camera battery was dead when we first found it so here it is with ant killer covering it. I have NEVER seen such a huge ant residence in all my life (which is saying much because fire ants don't exist in STL....this is big right???)

This gives you a little better idea of exactly how humongous it is. It's nearly as big as our sweet dog. Majorly gross. I'm pretty much like a 5 year old when it comes to ant piles. I like to put a stick in there to get them all fired up and watch them come to the surface. That's why you see all those holes in the mound...I was playing =)

In more meaningful news, I'm currently reading two books.

I'm almost finished with this book and it is hilarious. It talks about all the funny stuff elementary kids do and say at school. One of the stories is the author talking about having an AMAZING lesson planned, executing it perfectly, and then a kid farts. The whole class roars with laughter and you never get them back. SO TRUE! HA!

Just bought this one today and I'm SO excited to read it. I read the introduction today and I think it's going to be awesome. I'll let you know as I read it.

Divine Appointments

2009-09-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

This weekend was one of those times in my life that I could just really feel God working. He's such a God of details and this weekend definitely confirmed that. Try to follow along because it's an "all over the place" type story.

This weekend we went to what our church calls Experience. It's basically a meeting for people interested in knowing more about the church and possibly membership (or as they prefer to call it, partnership. Membership is for golf courses, partnership is to stand along side the church). It's kinda a big hoorah because they only have it about 6 times a year. We've been at this church since March and are really trying to get planted and decided it was time to take that step. We tried to go to Experience during "Swine Flu Break" (remember that post???) but they cancelled due to schools closing from the virus. They rescheduled in June but we were on vacation so we signed up for the next available class, this past Saturday. So we get seated at our table and our "table host" as they call it starts chatting with us. Turns out he's a coach turned administrator and she's a SAHM. We instantly connect from being in the coaching field and the boys know a lot of the same people. The next couple that comes to our table is slightly older than us but we make a random connection with them because we're going to the same small group that started the next day (and there were only 5 couples in the small group, 2 of us being at the same table at Experience.). So we all get to talking and somehow get into our infertility struggle. Now this is not information we just share with anyone but we definitely don't keep it quiet either. We need the prayer. Turns out another couple in our table hosts small group went through 4 years of struggling, went to this doctor in the area, and now have a 9 month old daughter (and they live right down the street from us...crazy!). He gives us their number and tells us if we're comfortable to give them a call-if not, us 3 couples would get together for dinner. Chris and I went home really encouraged that God had a plan for us at that table. We felt like God had a definite divine appointment for us there-especially after all the times we were suppose to be there and got cancelled!

Sunday morning we were at church and got to talking to one of the pastors in the atrium in between services. We talked about the connections we made last night and about how we were going to give this couple who struggled like us a call-and that couple "RANDOMLY" walked by right while we were talking with the pastor! So we spent about 15 minutes talking with them and they were SO encouraging. We talked doctors and heartbreak and God's awesome plan. I really feel like that's another relationship that will be blooming soon.

The other couple from our table who were in our small group as well have really been a great encouragement as well. She came up to me before small group started and said with tears in her eyes that the Lord had laid me heavy on her heart last night and that as she was praying He spoke for us to get ready to be blessed. That was one of the first times during this battle that someone had said that and I truly believed it. None of what happened this weekend is a coincidence. God doesn't just lay you heavy on someone's heart or put other couples who struggled in your path for no reason. I know this weekend was full of divine appointments and I'm excited to see what comes from them.

He Loves Us

2009-09-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

Love, love, LOVE this song. We sang it Wednesday night at the Back to School prayer service and again this morning. I've seriously been sitting on my couch with my laptop in my lap listening to it over and over again crying. It's UNBELIEVABLE how much God loves His children.

Amazing, huh?

Back to School Prayer

2009-09-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

Holy Moly. I've never appreciated a 3 day weekend quite like this one. My life has been pure craziness for the past 3 weeks or so and it feels so good to just BE for a day or two. I really am loving 3rd grade and I feel like God is using me there but I'm starting ALL OVER AGAIN. Tough stuff. I'm not complaining, just saying. =)

Wednesday night our church had a Back to School prayer night. We typically do not have church on Wednesday since the focus is more on small groups but they wanted to kick off the school year with some worship and prayer. It was so amazing. It was so good to take a time out from the craziness (although both Chris and I were TOTALLY drained) and spend some time with God. He really put some new things in my heart. I've been so stressed out with all the change that I haven't really been focusing on praying for each of the kids. So on Thursday and Friday morning, I prayed over my class. Not necessarily for their education (although I think that's incredibly important) but over their character. Over situations that I know are struggles for them. For example, a child in my class lost his father last year to cancer. I can't even imagine how devastating and life changing that would be. So I prayed over that situation. I prayed that God would give me the words to say to help his heart heal. That he would feel comfortable enough to open up to me if he's hurting. That God would do a work in him that would be nothing short of a miracle. When I got to school in morning, I did my regular routine-check the folders. I opened up his and saw that he joined the UIL group that I'm leading. Tears immediately filled my eyes. I know that God is putting him there to use me. EXACTLY what I prayed for. I love a good God story! He is so faithful.

Getting ready for 3rd grade

2009-08-22T18:57:00.001-07:00

I'm a bad blogger these days. Maybe because my world was rocked a little trying to get my new 3rd grade classroom put together, my old Kindergarten room packed away, and lesson planning in ONE week. I was able to get into my room last Friday and the kiddos came to "Meet the Teacher" this Friday. I've been doing everything but sleeping at school for the past week. I'm really excited to get started and get in the swing of things because the anxiety is KILLING me. My new team is amazing and have been incredibly helpful but it's really hard to plan for 3rd graders when you're use to Kindergartners. So much of my classroom management, procedures, rules, etc. had to change because it's just no longer applicable. 3rd graders will pretty much be GENIUSES after working with Kinder kids!

Football has started. Chris went to scout this week but Guyer won their first scrimmage. The season starts next Friday and it's looking like Guyer is going to be pretty great!

Happy Birthday to ME!

2009-08-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

Today has really been one of the BEST birthdays I have had in a long time. My dear friends, Amy and April, took me to lunch, shopping and ended our fun with some Design Star (anyone watch the show??? I'm addicted!). The three of us usually spend quite a bit of time together but our summer vacation schedules have kept us separated most of summer. It was SO good to hang out with them and just be our fun, goofy selves.

Chris took me to a yummy dinner at Ferrari's Italian Villa. Umm....YUMM-O! SO dang good. We had a really romantic booth (like the cool half circle kind for two) and ate until our hearts and stomachs were content. It's been a busy week with football so it was so good to reflect on our latest year of life and be together. So great.

Remember that post yesterday about having no plans and having no idea what was going on with my life?? QUESTION SOLVED! My job in Kindergarten was in limbo for the upcoming year. The numbers were lower than expected and it was looking like I could face a force transfer to another school in the district within the next couple of weeks. But God had other plans. My principal moved me up to 3rd grade to keep me on campus. I'm a little nervous but SO excited. God is good and faithful and knows what is best for me. Change doesn't bother me much but a week before school starts is not a lot of time to set up a classroom! I will miss Kindergarten a TON (where else can you sing and dance and act like a lunatic???) but I'm excited to do something different too. Like I said in the previous post-God's plan is not my plan...but it is better than anything I could do myself! Pray for me to love on and encourage the sweet 3rd graders coming into my room next year.

During dinner I looked at Chris and just started crying (I'm such a sap!). My life is SO much more blessed than anything I deserve. This last year has been hard on me in a lot of ways but has also been absolutely amazing. I'm so thankful for the Lord's grace and mercy and Him pouring it out on me even though I don't deserve it-not even a little bit!

Life Planners

2009-08-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

All self diagnosed life planners say "aye."

AYE!

Why do I do that? Why do I think it's okay to have my own agenda and my own plan? I'm stopping TODAY. My plan was to get married, love on each other for a year and then have a baby to share that love with. Did that happen? NO! My plan was to live in St. Louis forever and ever amen by my family. Did that happen? NO! So from here on out-I have no plans. Sure, I have dreams and ambitions but they will happen in God's amazingly perfect timing under His amazingly perfect plan. He knows what's best for me and even when it's not how I want it, it's the way it should be. I'm thankful for that but sometimes it's really hard to rest in it. It's hard to give up control. I kinda imagine my plans as sand. I grab the sand (my plans) with my clenched fist and hold on for dear life. The Lord tells me to let go and I loosen my grip but still keep a fist. Some of the sand falls out but I've still got a whole lot left in my hand. I really think I'm letting go but I really haven't-I just loosened my death grip on my life. He wants all MY plans. And think about it-how much more beautiful is a beach full of sand than just my tiny fist full? A WHOLE LOT IS RIGHT!
I wish I could tell you exactly what's going on in my life right now but to be completely honest, I'm not sure what it is yet. I'll fill you in when I find out. In the mean time, I'm praying that I would give God control and trust Him fully because His will is SO much better than anything I could plan on my own.
I'm glad I serve a God who cares about EVERY intricate detail of my life. That's pretty amazing.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! Psalms 139:17-18 (NLT)

Proverbs 6

2009-08-06T19:58:00.001-07:00

Proverbs 6 said EXACTLY what I needed to hear right before I get back to work at school. I've SO enjoyed traveling, spending time with my husband and being LAZY this summer. But the Bible has something to say about laziness-

You lazy fool, look at an ant. Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two. Nobody has to tell it what to do. All summer it stores up food; at harvest it stockpiles provisions. So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing? How long before you get out of bed? A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back, take it easy—do you know what comes next?Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life, poverty your permanent houseguest! Proverbs 6:6-11 (The Message)

Summer for a teacher is full of lazy days and I'm grateful for the R & R but it's time to get back to work. I'm especially thankful to have a job right now with the economy being as it is. I LOVE going to work and being with kids puts a smile on my face everyday. Pray for me as I get ready to go back that I would be a light to kiddos who need to see Jesus!

Proverbs 5

2009-08-05T21:48:00.001-07:00

I've had the Bible that I read for about the past 6 or 7 years. I love it because I've had it so long but I hate it because I underlined/highlighted in it. That probably sounds weird but sometimes when I'm reading it I get so excited about an underline/highlighted part that I don't pay attention to what else I'm reading because I want to get to the part I loved at some part of my Bible's life-which leads me to part two-SOME PART of my life. A lot of times the underlining no longer is meaningful to me and I was so excited to read it. I think I'll stick to writing down those favorite verses in a journal rather than underlining so I can remember when/why they were so important to me at the time.

ANYWAY! I love proverbs 5 as a married women. It talks all about adultery and how that can destroy your life. One of the most popular verses from this chapter is this-

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Proverbs 5:18-19

If you're married, you probably know that verse. As you know if you've been reading through my Proverbs reflections (or anything having to do with God's Word) you know I love the Message. Something about it speaks so real to me and I love how it tells us how to love-
Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers.Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—don't ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Proverbs 5:18-19
As a wife, I need to be reminded to not take Chris' love for granted. In the beginning and during dating years, I noticed EVERYTHING that he did for me. After 3 1/2 years of marriage, I don't look for them as often anymore. But that's not how God created marriage to be. He wants me to always delight in Chris and to be thankful for him and his love for me. He designed marriage PERFECTLY and if I follow His instructions-it will be a perfect love. Of course we all fall short but that's something I definitely want to strive for. Marriage is a serious covenant designed by God and I want our marriage to be pleasing to Him.
***BY THE WAY-if you don't have a Message Bible (I don't!), go to BibleGateway, type in what you want to look up and change it to The Message. There are times when I don't really know what to think about a verse and I'll change it to The Message or New Living Translation and it puts it into something that speaks to my heart. I LOVE NIV and all the verses I have memorized are NIV but I do like to see how other translations say it as well. Just thought you may like to know!***

Old Navy Love

2009-08-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

Why do they have to already have fall clothes out??? I fall in love and then can't wear them until October (sometimes November here in Texas). Grrr. Yesterday I tripped and fell into Old Navy (that's what I told Chris...I just don't know how I got in there....gravitational pull I guess!) and found the cutest little dress. Perfect for my leggings obsession.

LOVE! Black leggings, a scarf possibly. The only bad part is I loved it so much I paid full price for it...oops! Dave Ramsey would not be happy-although it was in my budget so I guess he wouldn't be too mad =)

Thinking I need to be productive and go up to school and work. Proverbs 5 tonight!

Proverbs 4

2009-08-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

Today I read Proverbs 4 which makes my heart happy because it has one of my favorite verses in it-

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

When I read that verse I think about what I'm putting into my heart/mind. You know the saying "what goes in must come out"? That's true of my heart too. If I'm putting in trash and things of the world, it's going to come out in my words and actions. If I'm putting in things that are good for my heart and glorify God, that's going to come out. It's not hard for me to decide which one I want. The chapter goes on to say (from the Message this time)-
Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Proverbs 4:24
I think this hits home for me too. It's hard as a woman not to fall into the trap of gossip. Go to a hair or nail salon...that's what women do! They like to talk about how others look, act, dress, etc. Sometimes I think my intentions are pure but I really wouldn't want someone else talking about me in the manner that I talked about them. So here's my prayer today-that I would guard my heart from the "junk" of this world and that I would be careful of what comes out of my mouth. These go hand in hand. If my heart is guarded and what goes in is good, my words will stay pure. Man, God sure puts some smart things in His Word, huh???

Encouragement

2009-08-03T20:06:00.001-07:00

McLinky's blog topic today is "Encouragement." Don't we all need a little bit of that??

This is 2 Corinthians 4:17 from the Message. I love the Message because it speaks like a story and straight to my heart.

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.

Here it is in NIV for those of you who prefer it-

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

I also have a worshi p song that really encourages me. It's a Hillsong song called You Reign. Here's the lyrics-

What could stand before You

As You chose to embrace

A cross so undeserved You took for me

The weight of sin upon You

When You offered Your life

As You walked the streets of men with fading strength

How could we live but not see

Your sacrificeYour glory

You reign, You reign

Over everything Lord, You reign

With power, and justice divine

Over everything Lord, You reign

What was Your last thought

As You drew Your last breath

Where the victory was Yours for us to see

And all will know the truth

As we live by Your grace

Every praise to You alone

See now the King of Glory

Love of God become my calling

Father I surrender all I am to You forever

I love that song because it's such a great reminder of what Jesus did for us on the cross...and how can you not be encouraged by that??

Proverbs 3 and Fear

2009-08-03T16:41:00.001-07:00

We've started going to a small group at our new church and we're really liking it. I'm feeling more challenged in my every day walk with God and starting to feel some convictions too which is GOOD! One of them is reading my Bible daily. I really do try but it is SO hard for me. There are some weeks where I'm on it and others where I haven't touched my Bible (hey...I'm being honest!). So I have a new goal this month. I'm reading a chapter in Proverbs every day this month-31 proverbs in 31 days. I'm hoping to share some thoughts from them each day on here for a little accountability.

Today is August 3rd so I read the Proverbs 3. You know when God keeps bringing something up over and over again and you're not sure why? He's doing that to me right now. He keeps bringing up fear. I really don't think I have a lot of fear in my life but apparently He's trying to reveal it to me. Here's some examples-

**Friday we went to the Phillips, Craig, and Dean concert and they talked about their new CD "Fearless." They talked about how as Christians we're not to FEAR the economy, the decisions of the president, or even everyday trials because God is in control. He has a plan and He is good. That really got my heart stirring...

**Some elders from the church gave their testimonies on Sunday. All of them were about being fearful-God took away something from each of them that they cared about (their businesses, family member, etc.) and they were scared. They had to get rid of that fear and learn to trust.

**Now I'm reading Proverbs and what's really jumping out at me is this-

24 You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. 25 You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, 26 for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap. Proverbs 3:24-26

I'm not sure EXACTLY what the Lord is showing me but I think it may be that I am fearful of never having a baby. I claim to trust God but my faith is weak. I get scared that it may not happen for me. I'm listening to what He's saying and I see that He's trying to remove the fear from my life. I know He's trying to mold me during this waiting period, which I LOVE, and this is one of the things he trying to squeeze out. Pray that I would get rid of the fear and replace it with FAITH!

*****On a side note-started the Clomid again and HOLY HOT FLASH! I've gone from freezing to BURNING STINKING HOT within seconds all day long. Is this what menopause is going to be like????*****

Wedding party and ceremony

2009-07-31T12:31:00.001-07:00

Kelly's Korner is hosting a "Show Us Your Life" for us girls to show off our wedding ceremonies/flowers...and what girl doesn't LOVE talking about their wedding??? I sure do!

These are our programs and cute little "Tears of Joy" packets I made. I SLAVED on those programs but I really loved them. Glad I made them myself instead of paying for it too =)

Here's a close up of my flowers and bridesmaids flowers. I knew I wanted to have white flowers and I really wanted red roses to match the girls dresses (like Britney Spears had if you've ever seen that pic). When I went to the florist she said some pink roses would look good in there and so I told her to do whatever...just make them pretty. I didn't see an example bouquet or ANYTHING until the wedding. When the florist pulled up with them, I CRIED. They were more beautiful than I could ever imagine. SO glad she led me to this decision!

I could cry every time I see this picture. I love my dad walking me down the aisle in the church I came to know the Lord in, was baptized in, and grew up loving. Not the most beautiful (paisley carpet...YUCK!) but really sentimental.

LOVE this picture. Me and my mom hugging during the rose ceremony. Such a special moment.

Totally cheesy but my whole wedding party danced out of our wedding to "This Will Be An Everlasting Love" by Natalie Cole. It was such a fun way to end our perfectly "us" ceremony.

My maid of honor Ashley and best man Justin boogie-ing down the aisle. Each couple choreographed a little something that morning (while I waited in the bridal room alone...but it was worth it!).

I think this is the classic wedding picture you do if you have enough people in your wedding party. I'm pretty sure we'll look back in 20 years and make fun of it but I think it's adorable.

Groomsmen left to right

Richard-Chris grew up playing baseball with him and they played 2 years in college together.
Jeff-Chris went to high school playing baseball with him and went to college junior/senior year with him. They were roommates when we met.
Justin (best man)-Chris' lifelong roommate and brother. Great guy and SINGLE if you're in the DFW area ;)
Josh-Chris played ball and lived with him while living with Jeff.
Under me-
Jared-Played baseball together and lived together at Missouri Baptist.

See why we had a February wedding? All these boys still have baseball ties (coaching, minors, etc.) so no spring wedding for us! Did I mention it was in STL and 32 degrees that day???

This just somes up how fun our day was!

LOVE Chris' face!

Bridesmaids-

Lynn-best friend from high school. Shared the role of captain our senior year on the pom squad making us fabulous friends.
Ashley (maid of honor)-roommate throughout college. Her husband sang and played the keyboard in our wedding. Her wedding was the month after ours!
Ann-we worked together forever at several different jobs. She helped lead me to the Lord and I helped lead her back. We have a strong connection because of that.
Stacy-my funny sister. She was hilarious all day...kept me laughing!
Lindsay-my smart sister. She's the brains in everything. She kept me laughing but she wasn't trying.

And my favorite picture of the day.

We had 2 slideshows-one of us growing up to "When God Made You" and one of just the two of us to "We Will Dance" by Steven Curtis Chapman. My friend Lindsey who is in the music industry in Nashville had a friend write a song for her sister's wedding that fit us PERFECTLY. We played that during the unity candle and rose ceremony. It talked about how happy we made each other and than how pleased God was with our covenant. One of the lyrics said "and He said, I've never been happier than I am right now watching my son and daughter, take these vows, the angels are singing and I am so proud, never been happier than right now." AMAZING. The bridal party walked down the aisle to "Your Love is Extravagent" and my maid of honors fiance' at the time played and sang it. It was beautiful!

I really don't think it could have gone any more perfectly than it did.

And a SYTYCD post

2009-07-30T13:34:00.001-07:00

How much do I love Sonya Tayeh? Her choreography is CRAZY good. I love all the starts and stops, flexed feet, and big jumps. She is really incredible. I'm so glad SYTYCD picked her up as a choreographer and hoping she is the next Emmy winner from the show. She definitely deserves it!

Who do you think is going home? I'm hoping Melissa and Evan. I feel like the other 4 are incredibly strong technical dancers and need to be in the finale. My fingers are crossed and I'm waiting for 7 pm!

You have to watch this if you haven't already seen it. Again, Sonya is a GENIUS.

Dave Ramsey is a Genius!

2009-07-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

Can I just say this man is a genius??? Chris has ALWAYS been into finances and has been a fan of saving since before we ever met. I only the other hand am a SPENDER! I make money to spend money. That's why we're the perfect balance =)

Chris started reading this book and planned out a budget for us. Our typical budget was pay the bills, put some in savings, invest a little, and spend the rest. We really had no idea where the rest was going. Dave Ramsey has you budget a percentage of what you make for each category. For example, 23-25% of what you make should go towards your mortgage, 3-7% toward clothing, etc. We broke everything down and figured out exactly where our money needs to go. We don't have any credit card debt but we do have my student loan and one car payment. If we remain faithful to this "program", we will have my student loan (which I thought wouldn't be paid off until I was 40!) and car paid off in 2 years! That's INSANE! Then all that money we were paying on those bills will go into savings for the future. So EXCITING!

I'm sure this is so exciting for you to hear about our finances but I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's book. It will change the way you spend your money!

Fertility News

2009-07-24T17:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't written about our fertility issues in a while because we really haven't been focusing on it at all. We have spent a lot of time this summer focusing on us-going out of town, relaxing at home, working on the house, etc. I think this time off together has been SO wonderful and I'm excited that we'll get to do this every year from here on out. I was a little worried in the beginning about what it would be like being home, 24/7 together but we have really had a great time. I'm thankful for that.

ANYWAY, I got to thinking a few weeks ago about our miscarriage and the timing of everything. While I was thinking, I realized that we got pregnant the month AFTER Clomid. I talked to my doctor about whether or not the pregnancy could be related to the Clomid and she said it wouldn't hurt to try it again. So next month I will officially be back on the meds for then next 3 months. Chris is mentally preparing himself for me to be crazy again and I'm ready for the hot flashes to begin. Please be praying for us because this is the last step we will be taking for a while. We're not going to go back to the fertility specialist until at the earliest next summer and just spend the time enjoying each other. God will bless us in His PERFECT timing!

SHOW US YOUR LIFE-wedding dress

2009-07-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

Kelly's Korner is having fun letting all us girls show off our wedding dresses! I LOVED my wedding dress at the time but would pick something lacy and slimmer if I had to do it today. My dream was always to have a big dress so that's what I had!

I loved all the beading at the top, the fullness and silk at the bottom, and some beautiful beading details at the bottom.

Details of the beading on the train. When the train was bustled, all this beading started at my waist and went down. I wish I had a good picture of it!

Me and my dad. I LOVED wearing a big slip to get all that fullness. I felt like a princess!

I love this picture of us.

Can we get married again, PLEASE???

Yearbook Yourself

2009-07-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

So today I found the most AMAZING site in the world...YEARBOOK YOURSELF! Pure amazingness. You put in a picture of yourself and it takes you through the different styles WITH YOUR FACE throughout the years. Here's me-

I had this permed hair as a little girl in the 80's!

Here's Chris through the years-

Chris' dad looked EXACTLY like this!

Hello Zack Morris!

Go have fun making your own yearbook pics!

Thank You SYTYCD

2009-07-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

= HEAVEN!!!

I'm really loving this right now. She is keeping the judging panel so light and fun. I don't even care that she knows nothing about dance...she is DANG FUNNY!

And that's really all I have to say today =)

***And did you see this? Holy Moly. I was in tears after this.***

See why I love dance so much?

Blog Hop-Favorite Recipes

2009-07-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Of course my two favorite recipes are super easy, non bake desserts =)

Oreo Cookie Balls

You will need

A box of Oreos (how funny that the picture I found is in Spanish!)

8 oz. of cream cheese

A package of almond bark (found by the chocolate chips)

Crush the Oreos into the cream cheese. I use a hand mixer once they are pretty well crushed to make a really good mix. Take a tablespoon of the mix and roll it in your hand. Once it's in a ball shape, set it on a cookie sheet covered with a wax piece of paper. Roll the rest of the mix. For those who are cooking challenged (ME!), here's how you melt the almond bark. Take a saucepan and fill it 1/4 full of water. Bring it to a boil. Put a glass bowl over the pot. Break the almond bark in half and let it melt. Make sure to mix it so it doesn't burn! Once melted, drop an Oreo ball in at a time and drop back on the wax paper after it's covered. Put all the balls in the fridge to chill for a few hours and enjoy your not-even-close-to-fat-free dessert!

Chocolate Chip Cheeseball Dip

THIS IS SOOOO EASY. YOU ONLY NEED 3 MINUTES!

The best invention ever-Philadelphia Cheesecake Filling (found by the cream cheese)

A bag of mini chocolate chips

Graham cracker sticks

Empty the cheesecake filling and mini chocolate chips into a bowl. Mix well so chocolate chips are evenly distributed. Serve with graham cracker sticks to dip into the mixture. YUMM-O!

The Big D

2009-07-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

How much do I love this stinkin dog? Today I had a TERRIBLE headache (I think it's the barometric pressure) and pretty much moped around all day. I went to boot camp, came home, slept some, ate lunch, and slept some more. Dallas was my cuddle buddy through it all. I just love snuggling up with her. She's so sweet---but only to me and Chris. She pretty much dislikes anyone else. She barks and hides and when she decides she wants to come around, it has to be on her own terms. She's super skiddish and wants to be under our feet when other people are around. I just LOVE HER!

Can you see why?

Why am I thinking about school in July?

2009-07-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's summer time and what am I thinking about...SCHOOL!! Ay yi yi. Not even the educational part, the decorating fun part. I recently got back from Frog Street educational conference and bought some super fun border and letters.

How much do I LOVE this border??? So adorable!

Matching letters

So here's the dilemma I'm in. I wanted to use the border and letters to write "Wild about Kindergarten" on my bulletin board. I was going to find cute jungle animal cutouts to write their names on and staple them up around the words but I can't find cute ones ANYWHERE! The only jungle animals I can find are monkeys. Will it look weird if I only use monkeys with all this zebra border? Or will it balance it out? HELP ME!

One of the monkey cutouts

The second one. I think I like this one better.

I really shouldn't even be thinking about school right now (I have a month of summer left!)...maybe they'll have some more jungle cutouts by August.

Blog Hop-3 Things You Didn't Know About Me

2009-07-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

Hmm....this is kinda tough. Let me think....

1. I'm obsessed with vacuum lines. I really don't like Chris to vacuum because he runs the vacuum all over the place and I like the lines to look nice and neat.

2. I'm pretty sure I have close to ZERO blog followers. I really like to journal/reflect but who wants to write all that down with their hand? I like to go back and read past blog entries that I've written to see what the Lord is doing and how far He has brought me. Even if nobody reads this, I can follow my growth as a person which is pretty cool. =)

3. I love to go to Home Depot or Lowe's and look at all the paint colors. I bring home 50 of the paper samples every time I go. I hold them up against all the furniture until my brain hurts. I also search on the internet for those colors on other people's walls. Then I decide I like the color(s) the wall already is. Ay yi yi.

I'm pretty exciting huh?

I Would Die for That

2009-07-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

I just think this song is SO powerful and such a testiment of what I've been going through the last two years. I'm so glad to have my trust in the Lord and that I know He is good but man, it still hurts. I'm definitely more at peace about it than I've ever been but after 2 years of trying and 1 miscarriage, there's nothing I wouldn't give to have a baby. Keep praying for baby Crowder, we know that the Lord will bless us in His amazing timing!

Weekend wrap up

2009-07-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

How much do I L O V E Sundays?? Get up early, praise Jesus at church, eat a yummy lunch and nap...does it get better? Today we went to the early service and made our first step to get involved in our new church called "Starting Place". It's a fairly large church so it can be hard to form relationships. I'm glad that this church does something to help people get to know people and be known. We had a great time this morning. There were about 8 other families/couples there in the same boat as us, trying to get connected in the church. I really can't tell you how excited I am about this. One of my favorite things at our church in St. Louis and the church we were at here in Texas was serving and being involved. Can't wait to find our place at Valley Creek!

In other news, this weekend was Frog Street educational conference. It's a conference targeted for early childhood teachers which makes it VERY crazy. Only at an early childhood conference can they dress up like characters and grown women scream and yell....so funny! This year I helped present at the conference with my friend Emily. She uses lots and lots of technology in her classroom (as I also try to do) so we led a class on ways to incorporate technology in the classroom. It went so well! People seemed to enjoy the presentation and got a lot out of it. That was my first time to present at an education conference but hopefully it won't be my last. It was a blast!

The last weekend highlight-my sweet husband painted the guest bedroom/office/hopefully future nursery! I refinished an old desk white and it is going to look SO good in this room. I picked out the wall color based on that but it would be pretty amazing if we had a little boy one day too. Chris is praying for that because he really doesn't want to paint it again =)

The color is a little brighter on camera than in reality but you get the idea. Yes, that crate is our dog cage for our 18 lb. dog. We like her to live large and in charge!

Blog Hop

2009-07-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

Today is "post your favorite picture"day! That's pretty difficult for me since I LOVE pictures so I'll try to narrow it down.

This is my favorite picture I've ever taken. We went to San Francisco this summer and I took this picture very quickly from a boat trip around Alcatraz. When I got it on my computer and started editing it and I LOVE it. The water looks amazing.

This is my favorite picture of the ladies in my family. We haven't had a picture together in a while since I live so far away so I'm really loving this!

And this is my favorite picture of my favorite person. This is on a cable car in San Francisco. I think he's pretty handsome =)

Shoes + Education = Awesomeness

2009-07-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

I was randomly scrolling through my blog friends and came across a recent post from a college friend of mine who is a FABULOUS photographer. One of her recent weddings she shot had a gorgeous picture of the bride, her bridesmaid, and ADORABLE shoes on all of their feet. My friend posted beneath the picture that the bride was a cofounder of this amazing business called Sseko Design. This company is designed to help women in Uganda pay tuition for their college. Super awesome. Here's what their website says-

Sseko {say.co} Designs was created as a Not-Just-For-Profit business that will help these bright young women continue their education. The Ugandan school system is designed with a nine month gap between secondary school and university. These nine months are intended to allow time for students to earn money for tuition before continuing on to university. However, in an impoverished and male dominated society, many of these young women struggle to find fair work during this time.

How awesome is that (not the impoverty, the fact that this girl is trying to help them)??? And did I mention, these shoes are SO CUTE! Think I'm buying a pair ASAP. Here's the picture of them from their website-

Pretty sure I need to buy a pair now! By the way, I am by no means a saleswoman for this girl. I don't even know her. I just think this is such a great cause and I would love to see this business do well for the sake of these women in Uganda. And the shoes are super cute =)

Michael Jackson-The Hidden Lyrics

2009-07-02T19:27:00.001-07:00

In honor of Michael Jackson's life, I thought I would post the alternative lyrics to a few songs that my dad made up. This probably is not nearly as funny written but it's funny nonetheless.

Man in the Mirror-alternative lyrics

I'm stalking all the manic depressants

I'm aksing for a cham boulee' (say in a french accent)

And Momesso (Sergio) could have played for the Clippers

If you want to make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and make that
CHANGE.

Both lyrics, equally as deep. I think my dad missed his calling.

Sweet Summer Vacation

2009-06-29T17:44:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously late posting pics from San Francisco so here they are! It was one of my most favorite trips EVER!

Chris at the airport waiting on our plane

How cute are these little boats???

I LOVED the Sea Lions. They were trying to push each other off into the water...so stinking cute!

Alcatraz out in the bay.

Map Man!

Coach stop! I'm aware that I am a complete cheese ball.

Coit tower and some adorable homes. There was also an elementary school at the top of this hill. Maybe we could move here and I could teach there???

At the top of the hill where you can see the whole city.

Chris on the trolley. He was a little envious of the people hanging on the sides. We were able to do it on another ride but don't have any pictures for proof. I was too busy holding on for dear life.

I love the cable cars. Such a cool mode of public transportation.

Cool story. Justin played baseball with Chris in Las Vegas. Chris got him a place on the team at Missouri Baptist. After school, Justin moved back to California to Modesto. He married Rachel (they dated throughout all this) and met up with us in San Franciso for the day. It was so fun to hang out with them...it's been 4 years!

How beautiful is the Golden Gate Bridge?

More of the sweet sea lion.

Lombardo Street...the crookedest street. By the way, I love the word "crookedest." It's fun to type and say.

Us on the Golden Gate.

Post card row.

Shoo be doo wop ba dah! Hello Tanner's! We walked for miles to find it but it was worth the whole minute we stood in front of it in wonder.

Definitely lost trying to find Starbucks. Who has two thumbs and needs coffee ASAP? THIS GIRL!

Loved, loved, LOVED San Francisco. So beautiful and it's just a really cool city. I'll post Florida soon!

You know you want to know this....

2009-06-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

So my friend Lindsey Jones, who's amazing by the way, has a blog that I just discovered. Also amazing. She had one of those fun survey things posted from a while back and since I really have nothing of importance going on right now (other than lots of vacation pics to post) I thought I would fill it out. I always feel a little vain when I do them but I LOVE to read other people's so maybe you'll want to read mine. Here it goes...

3 things that are always in my fridge: Milk (LOVE MILK!), coffee creamer, and butter. Not because I love butter, it's just pretty much a staple.

Most recent guilty pleasure song: I guess with the death of Michael Jackson it would have to be anything by him. I haven't listened to some of it in SO long but it's totally bringing back some amazing memories.

Favorite class from high school: probably Ceramics with Mr. A. It was just fun to be creative and he was a crazy person.

If I could grow anything perfectly in my backyard it would be: Anything really. I can't grow anything. If I touch it, I kill it. I would love to have a backyard full of Crepe Merdels (is that how you spell it??). They are B E A UTIFUL when they bloom.

Most Used Gift: Probably my refrigerator from my in laws or my washer and dryer from my parents. Both wedding gifts, both very necessary.

Talent I wish I was born with: I wish I could sing. I use to think I could as a kid but I guess I hit puberty or I was really never very good. Being able to put my legs behind my head and walk on my hends would also be pretty awesome.

Color I would paint my fingernails if I painted my fingernails: It depends on the season. I love really dark polishes in the fall and winter and light or bright in the summer and spring. I really like no nail polish because when I bite my nails they taste nasty.

Favorite thing to find in your lunchbox as a child: I don't remember. I do remember loving to buy my lunch on chicken patty day. Me and a girl made up a song about it in the 4th grade. They were so yummy back then but I don't think I would touch cafeteria food if you paid me now...unless I forget my lunch. YUCK-O.

Age you would not like to revisit: Freshman year of college. I was an idiot. New found freedom was not good for me.

Age you would like to revisit: Early childhood. Like 4, 5, or 6. I wish so badly I could remember not caring about anything but I just can't. I look at the kiddos in my class and just love how they think, respond, love, laugh. It's a pretty incredible age and it's sad that most of us don't really remember it.

Book I still haven't finished but is on the top of my finish list: Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers. I started one but never had the time to finish it. I should probably do that this summer. I adore Francine Rivers...she's incredible.

Favorite Childhood Pet: Probably our bird Daisy. She started my whole fear of birds. She was always a great conversation piece too. My sister's friend's mom who had some alcohol problems use to come over and ask what the birds name was 100 times a visit. My dad lied and told her it was Fluffy. True story. Much funnier when my dad explains it.

Well wasn't THAT fun?!?!?

Blabber Blabber

2009-05-29T15:21:00.001-07:00

My husband sent me this email today. Funny stuff!

Why did he send me this video? Surely he doesn't think that all my meaningful chatter sounds like this...right? HA!
Happy Friday =)

Trust

2009-05-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

I have a little devotional I read in the mornings that takes scripture and puts it into conversation. I really love doing this one in the mornings because it makes me think the rest of the morning while I'm getting ready. Here's one I did a few days ago that I really loved-

Come to Me with your plans held in abeyance. Worship me in spirit and in truth, allowing my Glory to permeate your entire being. Trust Me enough to let Me guide you through this day, accomplishing My purposes in My timing. Subordinate your myriad to My Master Plan. I am sovereign over every aspect of your life!

The challenge continually before you is to trust Me and search for My way through each day. Do not blindly follow your habitual routine, or you will miss what I have prepared for you. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.

John 4:24; Isaiah 55:8-9

Jesus Calling

I really love that. So often I try to do things on my own and wonder why it's just not working out. That message really makes me want to trust Him more and more and more.

God's Promises are GOOD

2009-05-18T18:40:00.000-07:00

In the past few weeks, God has really been working a miracle in my heart. Throughout my struggle of trying for a baby, I have felt more emotions than I really even knew I had. I was angry at God, bitter with people who had babies, depressed when I saw a sweet newborn, and the list goes on and on. People would always tell me "God's timing is perfect" or things of that nature and I would literally want to punch them in the face. I knew they were trying to encourage me but I didn't want to hear it. I wanted them to feel my pain. Not a good place to be.

But God is good and He's healing my heart.

I started looking at other areas of my life and how INCREDIBLY faithful my God is. Changing colleges my sophomore year was tough but God was faithful and blessed me with amazing friends and a Godly husband. Moving to Texas was THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE but God continues to pour out His blessings for my obedience. Our life here is beyond blessed. When I look at these things, I'm amazed at His faithfulness. And guess what? He's being faithful to me as I type this.

I was doing my devotional a few nights ago and it asked me to reflect on Isaiah 53. I never made it to chapter 53 because 54 jumped off the page at me. This is how The Message states it-

1-6 Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth! You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women. "God says so!" Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep. You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family. You're going to take over whole nations; you're going to resettle abandoned cities.

Pretty incredible right? After I read that, I looked at scripture references to it and found this-

Tell me now, you who have become so enamored with the law: Have you paid close attention to that law? Abraham, remember, had two sons: one by the slave woman and one by the free woman. The son of the slave woman was born by human connivance; the son of the free woman was born by God's promise. Galatians 4:24

When I read this I was reminded of God's promise to Sarah and that His promise for me is GOOD. Then His Word led me to this-

Those who were well fed are now starving, and those who were starving are now full. The childless woman now has seven children, and the woman with many children wastes away. 1 Samuel 2:5

AMAZING stuff! Why would I NOT put my trust in such a faithful God? I can't find a reason either.

Sorry this is super long but God put this on my heart and I just wanted to share it. Hope it blesses you where you're at.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

2009-05-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

Ah! I did it! I cut it all off! Here's some before and after pics.

Here's before...long, long, long...

From the back.

9 inches later...short and sassy! I love it! It was a crazy day. The original plan was to go to the Bartonville Health Fair, chop it all off for FREE, and then run to get a highlight from a friend of mine's hairstylist. I called the Health Fair the day before and they were only giving a cut and not layering, razoring, etc. I decided that wasn't for me. So I made a last minute apointment with ANOTHER hairstylist in the morning....craziness. My morning went like this-wash hair, 8 am hair cut, wash hair, come home, 1 pm highlight, wash hair, come home, wash hair, play with the new do! My hair was washed FOUR TIMES! It was nuts but it's over and now my hair is sassy and the hair that's gone is going to make a fancy wig for a sweet child dying to have some hair of her own.
PRETTY COOL.

Hairy Situation

2009-05-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

I told you blogging would dwindle when the swine flu left! I'm trying here!

Saturday is the big day...hair donation day! I'm going to get it ALL chopped. I'm SO nervous and a little bit excited. This long hair business is too hot for summer. Here's a few pic ideas

I've asked Chris a million times which one he likes and he doesn't care as long as I'm blonde(er). I haven't been able to put any bleach products in my hair because of the donation and Chris prefers it blonde. Lucky him, I'm ready for a change. I'll post pics on Saturday after the big event. Wish me luck!

Baseball Boo Boo

2009-05-07T18:56:00.000-07:00

Tonight was suppose to be a relaxing night with my friend Lindsey enjoying pizza and the awesomeness that is "The Office." Sounds fun right? It didn't happen. The afternoon went pretty similar to every other afternoon-walk in the door, hang up my keys, let Dallas out, get a phone call from my husband who got hit in the head with a BASEBALL at practice!!!! I of course did my wifey duties by asking if everything's okay and what I needed to do and he said he was ok-he was coming home from practice. The trainer had iced him up and he thought he was a-ok. He came home and was in some pretty serious pain. Chris turned his head in time to take a line drive behind his right ear at the bottom part of his head/neck. My theory is-never trust a head injury. You hear scary stories all the time about people getting hit in the head and later dying from brain trauma. Needless to say, we went to the ER. Not a fun place to be. I have the WEAKEST stomach in the world so I was a basket case most of the time. A girl was wheeled in throwing up everywhere, unable to stand. I guy came in with a blood soaked bandage and blood running down his arms. YUCK-O. Anyhow, they got us in pretty quickly, asked a thousand questions, iced it up, and did a cat scan. NO BRAIN INJURY! They sent him home with pain killers and muscle relaxers to keep him comfortable. I think next time he'll use the L screen properly!

Here's some pics for proof-

It's hard to see here but there's quite a bit of swelling.

Just wait until it starts to bruise! Just really red and swollen right now.

Poppin the muscle relaxers and pain killers. This tough guy wanted to try to go to work tomorrow. I didn't think that was such a good idea on HydroCodine!
I'll keep you posted on Coach's injury!

Randomness

2009-05-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

Here's my random thoughts for the day-

Boo Swine Flu! It looks like our "Swine Flu Stay-cation '09" is coming to an early close. We were suppose to be off until May 11 to prevent the spread of the flu but now we're reporting back tomorrow. Apparently our districts thought it was a little ridiculous paying us to sit at home all day when this illness isn't really looking as bad as originally thought. I knew it was a little too good to be true. Oh well. I did get my master bathroom painted, house clean, and Chris did some work on the garage. It was definitely fabulous while it lasted.
I just mentioned it above but our master bathroom is finally painted! I LOVE to paint my house but I'm terrible at all that it entails. I spend a good 45 minutes in the paint aisle deciding between 15 shades that I know would be perfect. Then I get home, open the can, start spreading it on the wall, and I hate it. NEVER FAILS! I tell myself I need to paint the whole room because it's impossible to tell if I like it or not by a few strokes on the wall. And guess what? I LOVE IT! Our master bedroom is a dark gray/tan and I wanted our bathroom to be the same color but lighter since it's such a small space. I went 2 shades lighter and PERFECTION.
My goodness May is busy! My dad's birthday was this week, Mother's Day is Sunday, and my sister's birthday is the 17th. I'm terrible at buying gifts on time, especially since we live so far away from my family now. Looks like I need to go shopping!

I think that's about all my super exciting-stay at home-life has to offer right now. I'm sure it's going to get much more thrilling now that I'm going back to school tomorrow...

Overcome

2009-05-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

We sing this song at our church and I just wanted to share it and hope it blesses you as much as it has blessed me. It's a reminder to me that my struggles are MINOR compared to what Jesus went through. And the glory of it all-HE OVERCAME!

Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love

Destined to die, poured out for all mankind

God's only son perfect and spotless one

He never sinned, but suffered as if he did

All authority, every victory is Yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise,

You overcame

Jesus, awesome in power forever,awesome and great is Your name,

You overcame

Power in hand speaking th Father's plan

You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb

and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Show Us Where You Live

2009-05-04T13:17:00.000-07:00

I've been following http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/ and she started "Show Us Where You Live Friday." This week everyone's showing off their kitchens. Even though I'm a few days late, I thought I'd join in the fun!

We were so excited to have dark cabinets and stainless steel appliances.

We love having our kitchen open up to the living room, especially when we have guests. It's great to be able to talk to everyone in the living room while I'm cooking or cleaning.

Breakfast area/kitchen.

One of my favorite wedding gifts.

What kitchen is complete without an "Office" calendar on the fridge? LOVE IT!

Breakfast table. To the right of the table on the floor are the FABULOUS Southern Living dog bowls that I spent entirely too much money on but love SO much. Sweet Dallas eats in style =)

Thanks for checking out our kitchen. Next week....LIVING ROOMS!

Counting On God

2009-05-03T12:59:00.000-07:00

I'm in a fight not physical

And I'm in a war

But not with this world

You are the light that's beautiful

And I want more

I want all that's Yours

Joy unspeakable that won't go away

And just enough strength To live for today

So I never have to worry

What tomorrow will bring

Cause my faith is on solid rock

I am counting on God

That makes me really, really happy.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5-6

2 posts in one day and a Fabulous K plead.

2009-05-02T18:01:00.000-07:00

I obviously have too much time on my hands today. Between swine flu and rain I've been in doors most of the day feeding my internet addiction. And baby addiction. Is this what all infertile women do on their days off? Sit on the couch and surf through all the adorable baby things you're dying to buy but have no baby to buy for?? Maybe it's just me. It actually didn't start that way...I started surfing blogs of friends, which turned into surfing blogs of people with babies, which turned into shopping for baby stuff on Etsy without a baby to shop for. I promise I'm not throwing a pity party-my trust is in the Lord and I know His timing is perfect. I'm clinging to Ephesians 3:20-Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (The Message) But during this waiting period, I'll search through Etsy and pray for my future baby...I just wish I knew if it was a boy or girl so I could start shopping already!!!

If it is a girl, I promise to buy her these ADORABLE bows and she will wear them EVERY DAY.

And if I have a boy he will be ADORABLE in this cute little beanie. I love them on baby boys!

And Fabulous K...I really, REALLY need a blog makeover....PLEASE!!!!!

Gotta get away!

2009-05-02T06:25:00.001-07:00

This is the first summer that Chris and I will have off together. The original summer plan was to deal with our infertility issues and spending time at our reproductive endocronoligist's office. Since our miscarriage and the Lord closing the door on IVF, we're taking that money and time and going on VACATIONS! We're so excited. Having family in different cities it seems like most of travel time is to St. Louis or Alabama. The week we get out of school we are going to San Francisco. We had a free Southwest ticket and it was the surprise 50% off destination so we are flying there for a ridiculously low price. Our hotel is within walking distance of everything. As a product of the 80's, I am most excited to see this-

Shoo-b-doo-wah-bah-dah! FULL HOUSE! LOVED that show and I'm so excited to see the "Painted Ladies" in all their glory. We're also going to go to Union Square, Fisherman's Wharf, Alcatrez, and hopefully check out an Oakland A's game (the Giants are out of town). So much fun!

The weekend we get back from San Francisco, we're going to a Coach's Retreat in New Braunfels. It will be nice to be around other coaches and their wives. It can be tough being married to a coach so it will be nice to learn from each other on how to better love our spouses and how to be supportive of their job/ministry.

After that we're headed to FT. LAUDERDALE! After getting out of school, San Francisco, and the coach's retreat, I don't want to get off the beach ALL DAY! Here are a few pics of our resort-

Then, of course, we'll head to STL. We booked this trip so we could be there for the 4th of July and celebrate with friends, family, and some fire works. Can't wait to see everyone!

You know that saying "When God closes one door, he opens another"? Isn't that the truth! After he closed the door on IVF, we were blessed with HUGE vacation opportunities to spend time together before we do become pregnant and our lives are forever changed. This may be the only time that we will be able to travel like this alone and we're thankful for it.

All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

Psalms 25:10

Swine Flu Crazy

2009-05-01T17:14:00.001-07:00

I'm sure everyone's super tired of hearing about this "swine flu" business but what in the world??? There has been one confirmed case in my district and at the end of the day today, they made the decision to close for a week. We will not need to make up the days missed which will leave us at 4 weeks until the end of the year. Chris' district has 2 probable cases and they are yet to close. I'm sure once the cases are confirmed, his district will also shut down. I understand being cautious (my room has been Lysol-ed and my kids are GermX-ed) but closing down entire districts is a little extreme! It's looking like this will be one of those things you watch on "I Love the insert year" on VH1 like mad cow disease or bird flu. We'll look back and think "remember that time everyone that they were going to die over this crazy flu?" Until then, I'll try to remain quarantined in my house with Oprah, Ellen, and Regis and Kelly. I also won't be doing this-

Stay healthy!

Ups and Downs

2009-03-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

I really want to be a good blogger but it's just not working out so well. I'll keep trying.

News on the baby front....Wednesday I took a home pregnancy test and found out that we were pregnant...YAY! I took another one Thursday (positive) and another on Friday (3:15 am...positive) so we were very excited. We shared the news with our families, scheduled an appt with my doctor, and got really, REALLY happy. Then Saturday came. I worked the LISD job fair in the morning, ate lunch, and took a nap. Around 2 I woke up and had a little bit of spotting. Well, my little bit of spotting turned into bleeding. It happened off and on all day Saturday and Sunday and into Monday. This morning I went to the dr and we're not exactly positive what is going on but there is no sac causing us to assume it was a chemical pregnancy (very early miscarriage where the embryo doesn't implant to the uterine lining). I had blood work done today and go back on Wednesday to find out exactly what is happening.

So that is obviously sad however Chris and I are excited that we can get pregnant on our own! We've been praying since we've visited the infertility specialist that a door would close on IVF if it wasn't what we were suppose to do and we're believing this was a door SLAM. Everything I've read has said that most women go on from chemical pregnancies to have a healthy pregnancy. We are mourning our loss but joyous that God has answered our prayers.

The world's worst blogger

2009-02-28T20:09:00.000-08:00

I am officially awful at blogging. I can't keep up with it! I'll try to get better for the very small audience that I do have :)

Baseball season has started and has made our lives a little crazier. Chris is the head freshman coach of a really great team. His kids are playing really well and he's really loving it. I've been to a few games but would really prefer to wait until I can bust out my tank tops and flip flops. The game Friday was COLD! I had on a long sleeve tshirt, a hoodie, a fleece jacket, and a Guyer windbreaker. Not to mention I cuddled up with his mom and Weezie under a sleeping bag....HA!

Update on our fertility status-we went to a fertility specialist a few weeks ago and talked about some options. The average couple has a 20% chance of conceiving any given month. After trying for a year (and falling in the unexplained infertility category), a couple only has a 2% chance on their own. So we started looking at some treatment options. School insurance is TERRIBLE so nothing is covered. We left the office with a plan to do injectable medication (Chris would give me shots everyday) and an IUI (intrauterine insemenation). We went home, talked and prayed, and decided that may not be our best option for cost reasons. IUI has a 20% success rate and would cost us about 3 grand out of pocket. So we started looking at IVF (invitro fertilization). IVF has a 60% success rate but requires a lot more time and more money. Around the time of our decision, Chris did our taxes and we get back a HUGE return for buying our home during the recession. WHAT A BLESSING! As teachers, we both have summers off which would give us the time that is needed with IVF (ultrasounds every other day plus the retrieval, etc.). If the IVF was successful, I would be due around March/April giving me maternity leave into the following summer. With everything falling in place as beautifully as it is, we're thinking this could be our shot. Right now we're praying that if this is not what we are suppose to do, that God would close a door. Until a door is closed or we are led in another direction, it's looking like we will start treatment in the summer. PRAY FOR US PLEASE!

We're going to see the specialist...

2009-01-27T14:10:00.000-08:00

Sunday we found out that we, once again, we're not pregnant. It was our 3rd and last round of Clomid so I gave my doctor a call to find out exactly what needed to happen next. At my last visit she let me know that we would probably need to see an infertility specialist if the Clomid didn't work. I thought I was emotionally prepared for that....WRONG. She referred me to some specialists, gave me some websites, and told me some prices. That's when I really lost it. Chris and I have been saving for an event like this but I was really hoping that we would magically become pregnant on our own. We downloaded and filled out 20 pages of paperwork last night to try to get an appointment. It was really difficult for me-thankfully Chris handles it much better and can calm me down. Please be praying for us during this emotional time, our doctors as they deal with us, and that we would seek God for answers and not do anything without His guidance.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks he must believe and not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

James 1:5-7

Our battle with infertility

2009-01-09T23:01:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to share a little bit about the journey that we have been on with infertility. In October 2007, Chris and I decided to start trying to make a baby Crowder. It was an exciting and scary time but we were ready for the role of parenthood. After about 3 months of trying, I had a terrible feeling that something wasn't right. I can't explain it but I knew that there was going to be a struggle. When we reached the 6 months point, I went to my gynocolegist for a routine pap smear. I told her we were trying to get pregnant and she said if we hit the 6 months mark and nothing has happened to give her a call. I quickly let her know we were already there. She said there was most likely nothing to worry about but we would go ahead and start some testing. Chris had a semen analysis and everything came back perfect. I had blood work done to make sure I was ovulating and a HSG (a vaginal xray where they shoot dye into the fallopian tubes to check for blockage) and everything came back perfect. My doctor said to just keep trying and to call back if nothing happened in a year. In October I went back to see her and we decided to do more blood work. I have low progesterone levels which will make it difficult to sustain a pregnancy (I'll take a supplement when we do get pregnant) but shouldn't be an issue in conceiving. She decided to start me on Clomid, an ovulation inducing medication, to help me "super ovulate." I went in after my first round for an ultrasound and had okay follicles but nothing to write home about. Month 2 I had HUGE follicles and about 12 of them. We thought it would definitely be our month. Unsuccessful. I'm now in month 3 of Clomid and possibly the last month of it. After this we will see an Infertility Specialist and decide where to go from there. The biggest challenge is not knowing what is wrong. It would be great if we knew what to fix but everything is coming back great making it very difficult. PLEASE pray for Chris and I to have patience and to trust the Lord's plan. I know it's far better than anything we thought up on our own but it's easy to lose sight of that. We'll keep you updated on everything that goes on with it and I promise to not be so long winded next time!

Christmas Alabama Style

2008-12-31T07:44:00.000-08:00

This year for Christmas, we traveled down to Mobile, Alabama to visit Chris' family. We haven't been down since we were engaged (3 years ago!) so it was a long overdue trip.

My goofy husband playing at the airport. "Final boarding call for flight 254 to Boston."

Beverly and Forrest bought a lot in Alabama to build on once they are retired. Bev has 1 1/2 more years of teaching and then they are on their way to retirement. The houses down in the area are so fun...all on stilts and right off the water. Not a lot has happened on the lot as of yet but soon they will start clearing the brush to build a house!

This is what Bev and Forest will see when they look out their back window each morning, minus a few of the trees. They will have a dock similar to the one next to them to get in their boat and go!

This is a little further down the road in Dauphin Island. They are on bay side and just a quick boat ride to the gulf. There are rocks everywhere and the view is GORGEOUS.

Don't swim!

The next day we traveled to the gulf side (Gulf Shores) to visit Forrest's friend Roy and his wife Susan. They have a condo off the Gulf that is absolutely beautiful. They had another condo off the Gulf that was destroyed by the hurricane. These are some shots from the beach a hop, skip, and a jump away from their new condo and right next to their old one that was washed away.

Beverly picking shells for some fun artwork to have in the new house. We spent most of our time down there helping her find pretty shells.

Chris is sneaky! He took this picture of his mom handing his dad some shells. I think it's a framer!

Family photo.

Us on the beach.

Brotherly love. Check out those sun beams! It was 75 degrees at the end of December...can't beat it!

After spending some time on the beach we headed to LuLu's which is owned by Jimmy Buffet's sister. On the way in I noticed a funny ashtray that said "Put your butts here." I told Chris and Justin I would have to take their picture "putting their butts there." Before we could stop him, Chris SAT IN THE ASHTRAY. He thought I really meant to put his butt inside it! He didn't know it was an ashtray!

If you look closely you can see Chris' butt imprint in the sand. What a goofball!

This is more along the lines of what I meant!!

Chris' grandma Jewel is in a nursing home so Forrest and Bev stayed with her on the fold out couch. Chris, Justin, and I stayed with Beverly's cousin Vicky. She is a WONDERFUL hostess. We had so much fun with her, her husband Mike, and their daughters Meredith and Lindsey. Vicky took us with her sister Debbie shopping at all the fun stores in Mobile. They have such a fun relationship and we laughed all day long! Meredith and Lindsey had every game system imaginable and we spent HOURS playing on the Wii and Guitar Hero.

Chris teaching Forrest to golf on the Wii. I can't believe we got Forrest to play! He liked it so much he's thinking about buying one. I think we're going to have a family game night with our Wii and make some brackets up....

My husband, the Guitar Hero rock star. He lifts up his leg and really jams out while he plays...it's hilarious. I'm so addicted to this game that we bought it as soon as we landed in Dallas!

A night at the McMansion

2008-12-22T07:34:00.001-08:00

Friday night, after a long week of school Christmas parties, crazy kiddos, and pure exhaustion, we thought it would be a good idea to calm down with our friends the McCloskey's and the Curry's. I brought our camera to get some pics of Taylor and it ended with the boys having WAY too much camera fun.

Taylor...her hair looks red here!

Bath time with Taylor. She loves the water!

All bundled up after her bath.

Here's where it gets interesting. The boys take over the camera.

Andy taught Chris how to leave open the shutter to make cool things with lights. You know those pics where the car headlights are blurring by? This is Chris's name written with a candle lighter.

Grant stood behind Andy and wrote his name with the lighter. I told you it was ridiculous!

Fire fun.

And of course....Poop spelled around Andy's head. This is what grown men do for fun, right??? All this was happening as the girls sang every Mariah Carey song imaginable. Regardless of how completely ridiculous this night sounds, we always have a blast when we are with our dear friends. Life in Texas would be awful without them!

Thanksgiving in St. Louis

2008-12-13T07:26:00.000-08:00

I'm way overdue on this! This year was the Georgevitch year for Thanksgiving so we packed up Tuesday after school and headed to STL. Flights were outrageous so we decided to take advantage of the low gas prices and drive. It was so good to see everyone! My mom decided to give us our Christmas presents while we were there so all of these pics are taken with our fancy new Nikon D40. I'm SO in love with it!

Me having fun with our new Christmas present!

We are dorks.

My sister was leaving the house and I ran downstairs asking her if she could leave my jacket here. She said it was hers. I ran upstairs to make sure and sure enough, we had the same jacket and shoes. TOTALLY NOT PLANNED! We used it as a photo op.

Mom and Dad totally not excited to take a picture.

Ann and Brian who I haven't seen in SO long! We went to dinner at Tumo's so I could see all my friends there too.

Old roommates, good friends.

Yes, they are standing under mistletoe. Kinda weird.

Jared, Chris and little baby Alex.

Milo, my parents' pet rabbit. They bought it to take my place when I moved to Texas.

Spending time with my Grandma and Grandpa.

Jared and Dana's baby, Alex. He's sweet!

Picture fun with Alex.

On the way home we stopped in Springfield and had lunch with my old roommate Ashley, her husband Brandon, and their little girl Nora. I haven't seen Nora since last July when she was 3 weeks old! It was so good to spend time with them.

Boys will be boys

2008-11-16T13:42:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning I woke up to Chris telling me he was going to play racquetball with our good friend Grant. About 45 minutes later they came back to Grant and April's house with Jamba Juice-no sweat at all. April asked how their workout. They said the racquetball courts were closed so they went to Jamba Juice and were going to play Wii for their workout. Quite the athletes. Later we went to lunch and drove past a speedometer at the bottom of the hill. So the boys ran down the hill as fast as they could to see how fast the speedometer would clock them. Here's a few pics for proof.

Chris at the bottom of the hill. It clocked him at 16, shot up to 24 for a brief 1/2 second, and back to 18. In this pic it's frozen on 24.

Walking to the car after his jog.

Grant getting ready for his run. Yes, he is wearing a bright purple 1995 letterman's jacket complete with football and wrestling patches and pins. Now on to track and field.

Stretching in a random person's yard after his run. It was completely ridiculous.

Murder Mystery

2008-11-15T04:37:00.001-08:00

I'm very late posting this but a few weeks ago our dear friends April and Grant hosted a Murder Mystery party. We each were assigned a character and had to dress the part. We ate dinner, tried to solve the mystery, and had a ridiculously good time. Just to show you how much fun, check out the pictures.

The boys

All of us in Murder Mystery mode.

The girls with Andy-our favorite jeweler.

All of us being silly.

Cross-eyed Andy. We're really friends with this guy!

Ashley and me. We we're innocent but not the best of girls.

Me, Chris, and his IBC.

On the Love Boat.

Chris was suppose to be a race car driver but turned out more like Popeye.

Austin Fun

2008-10-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

For my birthday this year I really wanted tickets to So You Think You Can Dance? I'm slightly obsessed with the show. The day the tour was in Dallas was a Friday night which was not going to fly with football season. So Chris, the most amazing husband ever, got tickets in Austin and we made a little weekend out of it. I had never been and was AMAZED at how beautiful it is down there! We had a blast!
At So You Think You Can Dance?

Chris in front of a fountain on the UT campus. The Longhorn's gigantic football stadium is behind it.

The buildings on campus were so beautiful!

Chris showing his lack of love for the Longhorns.